


Daddy's socially awkward princess

by madnessends



Category: Original Work, Real Person Fiction, Tom Hiddleston-Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Age Difference, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Dad Tom Hiddleston, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Electra Complex, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Jealous Tom Hiddleston, Movie References, Parent-Child Relationship, Parent/Child Incest, Slow Build, Tom Is A Sweetheart, Tom is a good father, but not really, generally awkwardness everywhere, so be aware of spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-09-28 11:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 25,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10096913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessends/pseuds/madnessends
Summary: Sometimes, I really I wish I had a plain family.a dull-looking father and a loving mother who has nothing to do with cameras , red carpets or premieres.I wish I had lots of friends , a happy social life , and a caring boyfriend like everybody else.and ,well, I wish my father had not been the love of my life.This is the story of a socially awkward "princess" with an oh-so broken mind.





	1. Introduction to my sad,mad life.

**Author's Note:**

> So.  
> If you are a new reader welcome and I hope you enjoy my fiction.  
> And If you are an old reader , I am genuinely sorry. I had to delete my work some time ago for reasons I can't explain here.  
> If you could forgive me and continue reading, then I would be really grateful. If not It is also fine. I can understand.  
> Well as you can tell by the tags, my fiction will contain incestuous relationship between a father and a daughter , so please read at your own risk.  
> Also, keep in mind that English is not my native tongue.If you could fix my spelling or grammar mistakes in the comment section that would be awesome.And also I would really love that if you could let me know your overall thoughts on my work.  
> Oh god. I've talked too much again.  
> Please go ahead and read , Love you all :)

Sometimes I wonder why I was ever born,

Why and When have I become like this.

It is 3 am and I have been tossing and turning in my bed for hours, still no sleep.

I huffed and quickly sat up straight in bed, I started looking through my wall to wall window, streets of London looked so peaceful, so empty.

They think that I am a distant, coldhearted aristocrat poser, I mean people from my school. I don't exactly know their names, I don't care either. I guess they think so because I never try to communicate with them.But please don't get me wrong, It is not because I look down on them or something like that , the truth is, when you don't love yourself, you can't really love others too , and when you don't love them, you don't really want to talk to them, that is all.  
For hell's sake, no wonder why I don't have any friends nor a boyfriend.  
Even the thought of a boyfriend makes me sick in my stomach.

And I know I am acting weirdly, don't bother to tell me.  
I know, there is not a single thing about me that is not weird.

I stood up and sat cross-legged on the floor by the window.  
I am broken, I am broken with no shadow of doubt.  
You must be wondering why I am like this. I mean, I have everything a girl can ever imagine, right?  
A famous, loving family, a huge house, a prestigious, elegant college that you pay a small fortune every year, an iPod, an iPad, an iPhone an i-every bloody thing.

But why have I never had a boyfriend?  
Why am I not talking to anyone in my school?  
Why have I been having sleeping issues for almost ten years now?  
Why can't I act like a normal 17 fucking-year-old teenager?

Well, I haven't told anyone about all these before, in fact, I couldn't even confess to myself for a long long time.  
But now, I am ready to tell you everything.  
First, let me introduce myself.

My name is Anne Mary Hiddleston, I am 17 years old, I enjoy books( pretty much all kinds ), fanfictions and good music.  
Oh, My surname sounds familiar?  
Here's the plot twist :My parents are Thomas William Hiddleston and Victoria Hiddleston.

And this is my story.


	2. A cheap-porn-like dream.

I am coming down our ladder while wearing an extremely tight school shirt( with no bra ), an almost-not-there short pleated school skirt and black see-through knee high socks. When I am in the living room I look across and there, I see my father sitting on the white sofa wearing his oh- so- tight dark blue suits, and sexy ass nerdy glasses. He is reading the British times with a completely focused expression on his well-sculptured face. He looks stunning.

I slowly start walking towards him, he doesn't seem to notice me because he is not lifting his head up. When I am nearly 3 feet away from him I stop and with a playfully timid and naive expression on my face, guiltily yet playfully I say:

" Daddy.."  
My father slowly lifts his head from the newspaper, his bright blue eyes start to wander over my body, lingering on my full breasts which were about to tear my thin shirt open and finally meet my eyes. With his one fingertip, he pushes his glasses down on his nose bridge and starts talking with his deep voice and accent that gets me wet, instantly.

" Yes, princess."  
I grab the sides of my skirt so tight with my both hands nervously, before talking I seditiously bite my lower lip.

" I have been a very bad girl daddy ."  
My father pretends to consider something and finally folds his newspaper at an annoyingly slow pace and puts aside. By doing that, he puts his dark blue cloth covered long, lean legs on display.  
I could feel my mouth watering.  
He pats on his tight with his one hand saying:  
" Why don't you come and tell daddy what you have done ?"  
I cautiously sit on his right knee but he instantly grabs me by both sides of my waist and puts me right on his crotch, and says:  
" Well, princess, speak up."  
"Daddy, .I-I've been touching myself," I say hesitantly.  
" Mmm, I see, " he says with a deep, husky voice while lightly grabbing inside of my tight.  
" There ? " he asks.  
" No," I say, " Upper."  
"Oh," he says, clearly amused while exhaling through my ear, he slides his hands upper, until he touches the side of my underwear.  
"There ? " he asks again.He starts to fondle slowly the skin there while looking right into my eyes.  
" Mary, " he says huskily, his hot breath tingling my ear " wake up."  
While moaning softly I say " what, daddy ? " couldn't understand a word he says.  
His voice suddenly gets normal, a little annoyed.  
" Mary, seriously, wake up. You are late for school."  
* * * * * * *  
I opened my eyes only to find a pair of ocean blue eyes right in front of me. Suddenly, I felt like paralyzed.  
My father spoke again.  
" Thank goddess you are awake dear, your mother had to leave early because of that I will take you to school today."  
I could hear him talking but I still couldn't bring myself to speak nor move. I was still hypnotized by the dream I was having seconds ago.

My father had a worried expression on his face, he leaned down and put his one hand on my forehead before saying:  
"Are you feeling alright my dear? you look flushed and you were moaning in your sleep."  
Flushed ? Moaning ? OH CRAP!

I quickly sat up in the bed and scooched over to get away from his hand. My heart was beating like crazy. With a trembling voice I said:  
" No.. I- I mean yes! I am fine! It is just that I had aa ... er... yes! a nightmare! I had a nightmare but I feel better now !" I quickly stood up and headed to my wardrobe not giving him a chance to speak.

" I will be ready in 5 minutes dadd- no , dad !! ."  
My father had a puzzled expression on his face as if he couldn't understand what was going on.  
If only he knew, I thought to myself.

"Oh, alright, well then." he said awkwardly and exited the room.  
With the sound of door shutting, inhaled deeply and started searching my wardrobe to find something to wear with my still trembling hands while cursing my subconscious for this damned dream.

First of all, I haven't been calling him " daddy" since I was 3 years old.  
Secondly, no force, ever, could make me wear those horrible uniforms.  
Thirdly, My full breasts? who am I kidding? my breasts can barely fill in my palms for god's sake!  
I quickly put on my black jeans and claret red sweatshirt, grabbed my school bag and exited the room.  
*********  
When I got out of the house, I could see my father had already got in the car and was waiting for me. All the while running to the car, I quickly put my hair in a cursory ponytail and got in the car.

While putting my seat belt on, I mumbled " Good morning, father" avoiding eye contact.  
"Good morning princess, " he said casually before starting the engine.  
Wait...WHAT ?

I suddenly turned my head to his direction, my whole body was alerted ( especially my lady parts ) I remembered "that" dream I had minutes ago.  
I could feel my cheeks burning.

"Princess? you never call me that ." I asked with my voice trembling. Could it be I was talking in my sleep and he actually heard what fresh hell was going on in my sick brain?  
" I used to call you princess all the time, princess," he said and started driving.  
Yeah, well.

" I know but It was like 5 years ago. Now you call me either ' dear ' or ' Mary ' " I said, relaxing at the thought of he was not referring my cheap-porn-like dream starring him.  
He chuckled lightly, he seemed to be amused by my confusion.

" Since you are still my little girl, I believe I can call you princess, princess ."  
" You are right, except for the fact that I am not so little anymore, I will be 18 a few weeks later," I said in a playfully angry manner.  
In fact, I was always enjoying our little battle of words.  
He chuckled again but slightly louder this time.  
He seemed to enjoy teasing me. ( second thoughts, after the certain dream, that didn't sound right ).  
" You will always be my little girl, no matter how old you are, princess ."

I smiled deeply. I was so confused. His sentence made me happy, touched and disappointed at the same time.  
This is the price you pay when you have a crush on your own father, I thought to myself.  
Oh, crap.  
I could feel my eyes tearing.  
I was about to burst into tears so I had to distract myself, I said:  
" So what you are saying is even if when I am 80 years old and look wrinkled like a raisin, I will still be your little girl? "  
He laughed loudly and said:  
" Especially so " while messing up my hair with his one hand.  
" Daaaaaaad !! " I said while trying to fix my hair.  
" Upps. sorry," he said pretending to sound guilty but this huge smirk on his face clearly showed he was not.  
I rolled my eyes and put my headphones on.  
I was so confused by the daughterly love I feel towards him yet I couldn't help but feel turned on when I look at those long legs I sat on in my dream.  
Gosh, I was so confused.  
What the bloody hell was I supposed to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you are enjoying :)  
> feedbacks are always welcomed.


	3. School bullies and a new friend.

" Alright kids, your time is up. Hand me your papers ."  
With the warning of our biology teacher, I finally lifted my head from my exam paper and tried moving my head to sides, I 've had a stiff neck from looking at the same direction for a long time.  
When I stood up to hand my paper, I noticed a blond haired boy staring at me, what was his name anyway? It has an " L" letter in it, I recall, Logan, Larry, Luke? anyway, who cares.  
As I couldn't be sure if he was looking at me or looking at my paper, I paid extra attention to hide it while handing.I quickly came back, sat down on my seat and started searching for my iPod .  
I had to be really quick or all those " vulture " girls would come and beg me for a sleepover in our house because they all had acrush on my father.

Ugh god damn all of them.

As I finally found my iPod, I felt a weight on the other side of my desk.

Holly Fucking Hell!

" Hello, Anne " I heard a very sweet girly sound.I turned my head to her and I saw a strawberry blond haired girl with green eyes.Her eyes were small and hooked slightly, her face was so small, almost as big as my hand. She had freckles all over her petit face.

It is so strange but I almost liked her.  
" Oooooh, heeey..." I said, trying to remember her name.  
She seemed to understand my struggle and reached her hand out.  
" I am Amy " she said with a lovely smile. I took her hand and said:  
" I am Anne Mary, but I guess you knew already" smiling, hoping that she didn't realize that awkward end rhyme.  
We shook hands once and she said:  
" Of course! who doesn't !"

Yeah, well, thanks to my celebrity parents.  
" How was your exam ? " she said with a bright smile as if she sensed my uneasiness.  
" It was okay, how was yours? " I asked back trying not to sound rude or moody.  
"Mine was terrible! I don't think I could get more than a C- " she said.  
"Oh " was all I could say. I didn't have enough social experience to handle situations like these.  
" Don't turn back, William is staring at you again? " she said while looking somewhere behind my left shoulder.  
" Who is William? " I asked confused.  
" You caught him staring at you while handing your paper, this tall, blond haired boy".  
" I guess I was right about the' L 'letter " I mumbled to myself.  
" Sorry ?" she said.  
" Nothing" I said slightly smiling.  
She took one last glance behind my shoulder before saying " Shall we go out for a bit? This exam had really worn me out."  
I don't know if it was because I was actually enjoying her company or I also needed some fresh air, but I accepted her offer.

************  
We were walking through the corridor and talking of this and that when somebody behind us yelled " Hey SAP! " I turned to Amy but she didn't seem to hear.  
And then there was that " yell " again, only this time closer.  
" What now, SAP, are you ignoring us? I know you heard me. "

After that, I slowed down and turned to Amy again.  
" Is he talking to me? " I asked. Amy looked disturbed, she took my forearm a bit harshly and started to drag me through the corridor saying " Just ignore these douchebags, clearly they just want to mess around."

At the moment, I felt a strong hand grabbing my shoulder.  
Okay, enough is enough.  
I moved forward to get away from both hands grabbing me angrily ( too much physical contact makes me uneasy ) When I turned around, I saw that kid from classroom, William

He looked right into my eyes for a moment then turned his attention to Amy.  
" Why are you trying to get her away from us, we ain't gonna eat her," he said and looked at him, a group of guys started to laugh way too loudly to his, joke, I guess?  
First of all, It was not funny.  
Secondly, do people still use " ain't "?  
Amy huffed and angrily folded her arms.

" What do you want, William ? " she asked.  
"Nothing from ya " he said to Amy then turned to me with an ugly smirk.  
" But I could want something from our SAP. " he said and earned himself even louder laughs from his friends. What the hell was their problem?  
" Hey you-" Amy started talking but I interrupted her. I had a feeling that I was about to be bullied for the very first time, so be it.  
" No, Amy I can handle this" I said to her and turned to my bully.  
" I am sorry but I cannot understand you. what do you mean by 'SAP'? " I tried to sound calm and nice as much as possible.  
My bully looked shocked for a moment and then started yelling again.

" Did ya hear that guys? our majesty talked to me ! " they laughed even louder as if it was possible.

I could feel my anger circulating in my veins.Nevertheless, I didn't want to get into a fight.Because a fight brings attention and the attention was the least thing I wanted.  
Instead, I looked him right in the eye, shook my head and walked away. I could hear Amy saying " I hope you liked what you've done, you douche." before she caught up with me. I could hear him saying: " Wait, Anne, wait ! " but we didn't stop.  
When we finally got out, I sat on the bench I usually sit on when I get out occasionally. Soon Amy joined me too. We sat in silence for a while then Amy reached out and took my hand.I was bewildered but didn't withdraw.  
" You know you shouldn't pay attention to a word they say, right? they are worthless " she said with a soothing voice.  
" I know " was all I said but instead of talking any longer, I held her hand stronger.  
I know, I had a very limited social experience but,  
I could feel a friendship rising.


	4. Divorcing parents and marriage rescuing babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> " Why do I feel nothing at all ? "
> 
> as always , enjoy and feel free to comment below what you think :)

The awkward tension in our dinner table was so obvious that I could almost touch it. My father and mother were occasionally making eye contacts only angry ones. They must have been in a fight, again.  
Not that I complain.  
For devil's sake ! what a terrible daughter I am, I mentally slapped myself.  
Once a week, I was allowed to have a glass of wine. And the day was today. I felt almost happy, almost.  
So, I decided to end the awkward silence between the three of us.  
" So" I said " I kind of made a friend today at school " while taking a sip from my glass.  
" Oh, that's a surprise ! " said my mother, clearly in a sarcastic tone.  
My father threw her a deadly scornful glance I swore his eyes turned bright ocean blue to dark deep blue. And started talking to me with his usual lovely smile:

" That is just splendid my dear! tell me about your friend ."  
" Well" I said " Her name is Amy and she seems nice " while chewing on my asparagus I added, " And also I think she kind of saved me from bullies today."  
When I was finished, I could see my father had that familiar worried expression on his face which I always found adorable.  
Oh how I wanted to kiss it better but,  
That was a different story.  
" Father, don't worry, It is nothing important, they are just a bunch of losers trying to mess with people" I continued after taking another sip " funny thing is they actually gave me a nickname 'SAP' "  
" SAP" I don't recall hearing a word like that " he said.  
" Neither do I " I said with a half smile.  
"Later today, I asked Amy about it and she said that It was not an actual word, It was an abbreviation that stands for ' Socially Awkward Princess' can you believe that? I said with a rather loud giggle.  
" Everybody in school but me knew about my nickname ."  
"Socially awkward princess, It is rude for sure but I think It suits you just fine my love " he said with a heart warming smile.  
" I know, right " I said while taking another piece from my roasted beef, delicious.  
" Well " my mother said. " I also have something to say, in fact, I have been meaning to ask you, Anne."  
" Yes, mother? " I said while taking my glass to my mouth.

Mother tossed her chin length black hair behind her ear. She was a very famous news presenter on BBC and was very beautiful indeed, her eyes were so dark brown you could almost think them black.She was lean and tall, just like father.  
In fact, they looked picture-perfect together.  
I quickly got rid of that thought.  
And focused on mother again.

"I was meaning to ask you that.." she said " How would you like a brother or a sister ?"  
After that, father and I both coughed so hard that the wine we 've just drunk came through our noses.  
" Are you pregnant ?! " both father and I asked at the same time.  
Unlike us, mother was perfectly calm as ever, she took her last sip from her glass and finally said:  
" Not yet, but I talked to my manager about all these pregnancy stuff and he was actually okay with it, what's more he said that a second child would be perfect for my public reputation " she said and smiled widely showing her perfect white teeth.  
When I looked towards my father , I saw him grinding his teeth with a furious expression. It was the first time I've ever seen him so angry.  
" You, you talked to your MANAGER before talking to ME about pregnancy ? ! " he snarled barely containing himself.  
" Relax, honey, will you ? " said my mother while pouring herself another glass." A child would be perfect for rescuing our marriage. By the way who wants more wine ?"

RESCUING THE MARRIAGE?  
Were they going to ..  
DIVORCE ?!!?

I couldn't bring myself to speak as I wasn't sure if I wanted to burst into tears or joyfully scream " yes, finally ! " and father was also quiet for a moment before he finally said :  
" Mary , could you please go up to your room ? your mother and I need to talk,in private."  
I quickly stood up and mumbled something like " yes father " before heading to my room.  
As I was going upstairs, I could hear them yelling at each other.  
***********  
I was laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling.  
How should I feel about all these ?  
Clearly a daughter must be sad, very sad that's for sure.  
But how about a daughter who is in love with her father ?  
How should she feel ?  
Relieved ? guilty ? happy ? all of them ?  
So, Why do I feel nothing at all ? maybe it was because my joy and sadness came together and neutralized each other, just like acid and base.  
At the moment, I heard my door knock.  
" Come in " I said while sitting up.

It was my father.

 

" I Haven't woke you up , have I , love ? " he asked almost whispering.  
" No , dad, come sit " I said as I scooched over to give him space.  
" How are you feeling dear ?" he said with a caring expression on his beautiful face.  
" I am okay " I said "How is mother ? " I asked back , I was actually worried about her.  
" She had a little too much wine for tonight, she blacked out, I carried her to bed " he said.

Carrying her to bed part made my stomach twitch. But It was no time to be jealous. I huffed and laid down again on my bed, soon, my father joined me too.  
I put my pillow between us just so we could share. Now, we were both staring at the ceiling in a total silence.

" Dad" I said a little hesitantly. " Yes my love " he said, without looking at me.  
" Will you have another child ?" I turned my head to him. " No" he said with a serious tone, without looking at me. After about 5 minutes,he turned his head to me , sadness radiating from his blue eyes.

" I will be honest with you Mary, you are old enough to understand. Your mother and I have been having some problems with our marriage for a while now " he said as we were looking each others eyes .  
"...problems that another child could never fix , if anything , only make them worse."

I stayed silent for awhile utterly understanding him and decided not to ask about their marriage anymore. Instead, trying to cheer him up a little bit ,I playfully asked : 

" So, I am not having a little brother or sister." poking the side of his chest with my shoulder.  
" Seems so " he said with a slight smile.  
" Why, would you like one ?" he asked playfully, already knowing the answer.  
"Oh god no " I said giggling,rolling my eyes.  
" I want all your attention to myself " I said .

And also, I don't want you and mother doing " it ", I thought to myself. 

" Greedy little thing aren't you " he said while poking my nose with his fingertip.  
I giggled again and curled by my father's side holding him tightly.

" I love you, dad. " I said, before falling asleep , not sure what kind of love I was talking about.

" I love you too, dear. ". he said after switching off my table lamp.


	5. It is all about them sexual tension.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, whatever ,FORGET it. I am a hopeless case.  
> Because I was turned on as fuck."
> 
> Enjoy and as always let me know what you think :)

While I was gradually gaining back my consciousness , the first thing I felt was a pleasant heat and a firm body clinged to my backside.

I purred softy and pushed myself further to source of the heat.  
Second thing I felt was a big and strong hand lightly grabbing me right under my left breast.Keeping the area under all warm.  
I felt safe and warm like a cat.  
But then suddenly, I remembered the last thing I heard before falling asleep last night.  
" I love you too,dear. " ..  
..  
HALLELUJAH SWEET JESUS CHRIST OUR SAVIOR !  
I burst opened my eyes in shock.  
The body behind me was my father's !  
All the while immediately feeling a tingle " down there ", I felt like my whole body was on fire.  
And my heart was beating like crazy.

I tried to calm myself down, but the sexual tension  
around us was so thick I could almost breath it. But this was the main problem because I was the only one to feel it.  
It was one sided.  
I had to make my father feel like how I feel right now.  
I had to make him see things the way I see.  
Because I just couldn't take it anymore , I needed his touch , I was craving it.

Every fucking inch of his god like body.  
At the moment , I had an idea.  
It was a rather slutty idea but I felt like If I didn't try it right away , I would regret not trying for all my life.

With my free hand, I slowly pulled one side of my nightgown down just enough to reveal a major part of my nipple, As I was trying so hard to not to wake him up, I stopped breathing.

Then slowly and gingerly I took his hand and slide it upper , right on my bare breast.

I couldn't help but sharply gasp at the feeling of his hot palm on my cold skin.  
It felt amazing.  
Hot and tingly feeling I got down there became even stronger if possible.

After that, I slowly let my breath go I was holding for god knows how long, and pretended to be asleep , all the while trying to calm my heart beat down.

I didn't know how much time it took but finally his steady breathing became louder and more irregular.  
I thought that maybe he was starting to wake up, but still hasn't come to consciousness.

I don't know how much time has passed until I felt the first contact.Again , at that moment , I felt paralysed.I couldn't help but to shake all over as If I was stuck by lightning.

He exhaled through my ear loudly and made a humming sound all the while lightly kneading my bare breast.  
I could feel his " morning wood " pushing my bum.  
He then let go of my breast and started sliding his hand lower and lower, fondling all the way to my waist cravity.  
I was biting my pillow to not to make a sound, I didn't want him to wake up , at all.

I couldn't exactly see what was going on but I could tell from the voices he was making.  
Then for a moment, his hand froze , not moving nor making a sound.

I assumed that he was now fully awake.  
Suddenly I heard him cursing under his breath ( and I assure you , he rarely curses ) then I heard a " thud ".

The weight on the other side of bed was gone.  
Did he just fall on the floor ?  
I was biting my lower lip intensely to not giggle. I heard his hectic footsteps all around the room , he was still cursing under his breath.

And I started to feel guilty.  
Maybe I went too far , I thought to myself. At the moment I felt his hand pulling my nightgown back on my bare breast to cover it up.  
As soon as I heard my door shut, I opened my eyes right away.

I felt guilty , disgusted, embaressed, rejected , kind of relieved and turned on all at the same time.Mostly , I felt disgust toward myself , what I have just done , how terrible I made him feel.What a horrible daughter I am.  
But in deep down ,a very little part of me was disgusted because of being touched by my very own father that way.

After all , maybe I was not completely broken deep inside , maybe I could be rescued , maybe It was not too late.

I sat up on my bed and noticed my panties were soaked as much as inside of my tights.

Okay, whatever ,FORGET it. I am a hopeless case.  
Because I was turned on as fuck.

And my left breast was still burning like freddy krueger.  
Me and my sick mind needed a cold shower, right now.  
*********  
After a quick freezing shower , I put my hair in a messy bun and wore my knee ripped jeans. Since it was not that cold outside , I decided to wear a t-shirt.  
a low-cut one, to be more spesific. But I took a cardigan with me to wear at school , this low cut was only for my father.

Because I had to see if my " sexual tension operation " worked.

I took my bag and quickly went down stairs,.There,I saw mother standing by the counter in her robe , one hand holding an advil, the other hand rubbing her forehead furiously.  
She must be having a terrible headache.

" Good morning , mother , where is father ?" I almost warbled .  
Luckily, mother didn't seem to notice my over excitement.

" He is outside" she said taking the advil she has been holding, " He is taking you to school since I am not feeling well."

" Yes, I can tell." I said sarcastically then quickly grabbed a strawberry from the fruit salad from her bowl, It was all she got for breakfast , she was way obsessive about her weight.

" See you later, mom "I said kissing her on one cheek and went out.

There, I could see my father sitting in the car waiting for me , wearing his dark blue suit , which was my favourite as you can tell , with an extremely tight white shirt, he looked so perfect I could  
eat him.Literally.

I quickly fixed my hair and pulled down my t-shirt to show a little cleavage.  
For every holy thing's sake ! when have I became that slutty ?  
I got in the car and while putting on my seat belt , " good morning, dad " I said almost singing.  
" Good morning , love " he said without looking at me, he looked nervous.  
Wait , could it be because...  
Oh, I see, clearly my plan worked.  
" Are you going somewhere after dropping me at school ? you look classy." I said, in an attempt to comfort him.  
He lookes even more nervous after my statement.  
" Actually yes, I am meeting a producer " he said , still avoiding eye contact.

" That is exciting " I said trying so hard to make an eye contact. " a new movie ? " I asked.  
" Yes " he said shortly,nothing more.  
" Father..." I said " You look nervous, what is it ? "  
This time, I earned myself a quick glance.  
" No, love. Maybe a bit because of the meeting ." he said clearly lying.  
" Oh" I said to imply I wasn't convinced. " I have a feeling you are meaning to tell me something but you hold yourself back."  
" N-no, what ? no. " he said looking extremely alarmed.  
"It's just that.." he added and after a minute of hesitation ,he continued " I've been meaning to ask you about your sleep last night."

Oh, here we go.

" My sleep ? " I said playing fool "What about it ?"  
" Did you sleep well ?" he said trying to sound calm but not really succeeding.  
" Like a baby, yes " I smiled " In fact, I haven't slept that well for a long time. " I said sincerely.  
I could see his struggle , the struggle I 've caused.  
I felt guilty again.

I cleared my throat while pulling up my t-shirt to cover myself before speaking again. I hated myself so much at that moment.

" When I woke up you were gone." I said to him trying to hide the guilt in my voice " I couldn't hear you leave , because I sleep like a corpse , I feel absolutely nothing when I am asleep "

What I was meaning to say was : " Don't worry father, I didn't feel you fondling my body in your sleep."

He looked rather relieved after my statement but said nothing else , I didn't push him either. We drove in silence for a while.

After about ten minutes we arrived at school. As I was putting off my seat belt I said " Thank you, father " with a half smile.  
He said " not a problem , princess. " and as usual reached his cheek for me to kiss.

I think things are getting better between us, I thought to myself.  
I kissed him lightly on the cheek like I always do but with a sudden decision , I grabbed his chin firmly , turned his head aside and kiss the other cheek ,too.

This time a little more louder and wetter.

Okay, I know, It was literally the dictionary definition of " awkward ". But who cares, the kiss was wonderful.

Then I quickly got out of the car leaving my frozen father alone in shock.


	6. Internet Princess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh , I don't know if I need to say that but all nicknames written here are fictional . And that ficton Anne Mary wrote was also mine.  
> Fiction inside a fiction , almost like a fictionception.
> 
> Okay , I am leaving now.  
> Enjoy :)

" Mom, dad, is there anybody home? " I yelled while opening the door with my keys, at the same time trying to tuck the last bite of the snickers into my mouth. " Hey, I am home! " I yelled for the second time while throwing my school bag and jacket on the sofa before heading to the kitchen to grab myself a bottle of water.As I was about to open the fridge,  a post - it attached to it caught my attention.

**_" Welcome home, Love._ **

**_Hope you've had a great day at school. Well, your mother'll be working late tonight and I  will be meeting the producer I've told you about. I 'm not exactly sure when It'll be over but I'll try to come home as soon as possible.There is  Chinese food in the kitchen, microwave it. ( But don't fall asleep like last time  ! ) ._ **

**_Take care , Love._ **

**_Dad. "_ **

**_******_ **

With a huge grin on my face, I read the note for the second time while going up to my room. In my mind,I couldn't stop myself from reading it with his voice and accent. Did he really have to be such a gentleman even when writing a causal note?

When I finally threw myself onto my bed, I quickly got rid of my shoes and picked up my MacBook and started checking up on my e-mails.There were tons of angry fan mail, all of them were asking me about the final chapter. I sighed before signing in my wattpad account and started typing a message to send my followers.

_" Hey there lovelies, I owe you all a Huuuuge apology.I know, I know I shouldn't have kept you hanging on like that but I had been very busy lately. I just wanted to thank you for your support during this journey. I wouldn't be able to complete this story without your precious thoughts and constructive criticisms. Most of the chapter is done, within one hour, I 'll be publishing it!_

_Thank you again for always being with me!  -_ _**thecountess** _ _"_

 

 _after the message was sent, I_ _quickly took a glance at latest comments before starting to write the rest of the chapter._

 _**hiddesgirl  on chapter 49** _ _  
_

_thecountess , after all these chapters, if Loki and Hela won't end up together I'm reporting this story._

_**Cassandraaa on chapter 49** _ _  
_

_Hela is Loki's daughter and Hela is a dead girl you fuckers! YOU ALL NEED THERAPY._

_**MrsLaufeyson on chapter 49** _

_Uh.. Cassandraaa, It is fucking FİCTİON.how about you get the hell out of here and take your judgemental ass with you too, asshole._

I almost burst into laughter as I imagined how that Cassandraaa person would react if she knew me in real life . All the while searching for my iTunes list to pick a good song to write with.

 _3 Doors Down- Here without_ you - pass, too slow. 

 _Guns N' Roses - Welcome to the jungle_ \- pass, too rock n roll. 

 _Noel_ Gallagher _\- Everybody's on the run_ \- Just perfect.

As the song started to fill in my ears through headphones, after about staring blankly at the blinking text cursor on the screen for a while, I finally started typing.

********

....

_Loki 's emerald green eyes shined with expectation while looking right into his daughter's coal black ones._

_" Hela.. " he said vaguely , maybe for the first time in his life , he didn't know what to do , what to say._

_For the very first time in his life , he was scared._

_For the very first time, he was weak and vulnerable as a baby in front of that woman._

_The only woman who could bring him to his knees._

_The woman who fought for him , killed for him ._

_His love , his blood , his woman , Hela._

_Hela tried so hard to be  as cold as a stone, to get rid of her emotions completely until that man crashed into her life once again and ruined everything she built with years of pain, tears , sweat and blood._

_The man who pushed her away , who broke her heart like no one else._

_The man who  sent her far far away , letting her rot alone in hell._

_The man who invaded her mind everyday , invaded her dreams everynight._

_Her love , her biggest enemy , her man , Loki._

_"Did you come here to send me away to another hell , father ? do you think that I have not suffered enough."  Hela said arrogantly as she quickly wiped away a tear rolling down her cheek. " Well , don't bother. I hit to the  bottom already , you can't hurt me anymore. "_

_" I come to take you to Asgard Hela , with me. " Loki said  softly , his heart crushing each time Hela cried a tear._

_" As what ? your prisoner ?  "  Hela snirled angrily , turning to face Loki._

_"No.. " Loki said as he approached to her step by step and under Hela's bewildered  eyes , he went on his one knee in front of her , taking out a black box with green and gold_

_motives on . "  as my queen  "  he almost whispered._

_" Hela.. will you marry me ? "_

_********_

With the last sentence I typed , I took my glasses off .The room was all dark except for the dim light radiating from the screen. I tried moving  my stiff neck to sides, that was then I noticed a dark , tall figure standing by the door .

As I was about to scream , that dark figure turned the lights on.

Turns out , that tall figure belonged to my father.

" Dad ! " I said while my eyes were getting used to the light " you almost gave me an heart attack ! "

" Sorry , love. Have I scared you ? I knocked on your door but you didn't answer so I worried about you. " he said looking all guilty and adorable as ever.

" It is okay dad , what time is it ? " I asked while trying to stretch my arms a little.

My father looked at his watch before answering  " 8:45 pm "

" Oh wow , have I been writing for 4 hours ?  " I mumbled to myself.

"You looked very focused , love. What have you been writing ? " he asked as he stepped into my room.

" N- nothing ! " I answered  in an overly excited manner. As I closed the screen, I continued this time forcing myself to sound calmer:

 " I mean.. nothing important, It is just an..er..an essay for my english class ! "

Oh god. I shouldn't have said English.

" Really ? " my father said with a huge smile  " Can I see it ? maybe I can help you with a thing or two. " 

" NO ! "  I exclaimed as I clung onto my computer like an octopus " I mean.. of course but I am not finished yet.. I will show it to you as soon as I am finished  "

" Promise ? " he said as he made a sad face like a little boy.

Oh how  adorable.

" Promise " I said as I smiled sincerely.

" Alright then" he said cheerfully " Have you eaten yet , love ? " he asked.

" No, I forgot " I answered, my stomach agreed with me by grumbling , too.

" Perfect " he said as he was about to leave the room " Now , I am preparing the dinner as you choose what movie we are going to watch tonight , love. "

 

 

 

 

 


	7. The dinner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your eyes are like an open book, love. They give you away. You might look like your mother but.... you are definitely my daughter. "
> 
> Sorry for the 2- day delay , loves :(  
> I hope you enjoy this chaper :)  
> Love you all :)

As I was going downstairs, I could see my father, trying to toss the food inside the pan clumsily while trying to add white wine from the bottle. I stopped and leaned a little onto the handrail of our stairway to get a better view of the beauty ahead of me. The first thing I noticed was the black kitchen towel hanging from his one shoulder and the beautiful view of his biceps covered by the tight white shirt he had on. The second thing was the beautifully sculptured side profile of his while he carefully chopped the cherry tomatoes in front of him. 

" Hey, handsome, " I said as I came down rest of the way, and leaned onto the counter next to him, " what are you cooking for me tonight? " I asked in a playfully flirty manner before I had my arms folded.

" Spaghetti bolognese, " he said smiling widely with a very bad fake Italian accent, earning himself an " Oh- really ? " look from me.  
" Okay, It won't taste as bad as It sounds I promise, " he said with an adorable guilty face before he wiped his tomato covered hands onto the towel and grabbed a tablespoon of boiling sauce from the pan.  
" Open up, darling, " he said as he guided the spoon to my mouth, causing me to freeze for a moment before letting the spoon in, as I mentally kept telling my ovaries to stop producing those horrible teenager hormones in such a moment!  
" How do you like it ? " he asked like an enthusiastic little boy trying so hard to be approved, while I tried my best to control my blushing, although not really succeeding .

" Was it too spicy? you look flushed, oh god, I've put too much chili in, have I not ? " he asked disappointedly.

If you don't want me to blush maybe you should stop saying things like " open up " or " darling " with that sexy ass accent of yours, I thought but instead, I said:  
" Yes, It is a bit spicy but I like it, It is very tasty !" I said trying to cheer him up again, giving him a thumbs up with each of my two hands.  
" I knew you would like it, " he said before turning back to chopping tomatoes with that adorable smile of his.  
Cheering him up is so easy, just like a little boy I thought as I leaned onto the counter.  
A little boy trapped in a man's body, to be more specific, I thought again staring at his back muscles somehow visible despite the shirt.

" Staring is rude, young lady. " He said without lifting his head up from the chopping board. " I feel like you want to say something "

Oh, crap. I got busted.

" N-no, hah, no. " I said awkwardly smiling, making a fool of myself even more if possible while mixing the sauce with the mixing spoon to stop myself from looking at him.  
" Actually. I wanted to ask you something.. " I said vaguely before I could stop myself.

" Ask away, " he said calmly as he added chopped tomatoes to the salad mix in a large glass bowl.  
I cleared my throat before speaking.  
" I wanted to ask you about your meeting...with the producer today ."  
" Oh, that. " he said smiling widely while mixing the salad with two large mixing spoons " I've gotten the role, I mean not officially but I will, after a couple of paperwork "  
" Will you be Loki again? " I asked quickly, much more eagerly than I intended.  
" Thankfully, no . " he said as he was finished with the salad and wiped his hands once again before turning to me " I mean I love playing Loki but I want to be remembered for something other than Loki. "  
" Oh, yes sure, I see ," I said trying to hide my disappointment, while turning off the stove, to not burn the sauce.  
" Now, now what is with that face ? " he said lifting my chin up with his one finger " If I didn't know any better I'd say you were disappointed. "  
" No, It is nothing important really, I was just going to ask you to do something If you were to play Loki again, but nevermind ."  
" Really ? " he asked lifting one eyebrow up.  
" Maybe you should ask anyway, well I might not have superpowers like him but I'll try my best ."  
" Well, well, If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous of Loki. " I said smiling crookedly , playfully poking his chest with my index finger.  
" What did you expect? clearly, my daughter is way more interested in Loki instead of her own father. " He said, playfully poking me back.  
" Don't worry I am not interested in him, I am more interested in his hair. " I said smiling widely. " I was going to ask you to come home without washing your hair after the set for once ."

" Hair? why ? " he asked lifting the other eyebrow up too.  
" Well, there are two reasons for that. First, I think that dark hair color reeeeally brings up your eye color. Secondly, with your hair all dark and long, we look more alike " I said while tucking my long, dark brown hair behind my ear.  
" We already look alike, " he said wandering his one hand on my loose hair, smiling sympathetically.  
" No, we don't. " I protested a bit childishly " I look like my mother." I opened my eyes widely while pointing them with my index finger, I continued " Look, my eyes are brown "  
I sighed before talking again :  
" I wish I had your eyes. "

" Darling, you have my eyes. " he said heart-warmingly before cupping my cheeks with his palms " And I am not talking about the color, It is the way you look, the way you see. Your eyes are like an open book, love. They give you away. You might look like your mother but you are definitely my daughter. "

" R-really? " I asked, mesmerized by the depth of his ocean- like eyes.Hearing my heartbeat right into my ears, with a shaky voice I asked " What do they give away now? "

I think It is the end, I thought as soon as I said that last word.  
I got caught.  
He knows.  
My life is over.

" They give away that ... " he said as I was holding onto the counter tightly to not fall and melt down on the floor, he continued " ....that you are very, very hungry. "


	8. The ice cream story.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He was probably the " lemonade ice cream " but I had to try.  
> My stomach twitched unpleasantly at that thought. Because all I wanted was to go home and lick my strawberry ice cream."
> 
> hello there :)  
> Please let me know what you think so far and if you have any suggestions I am open to them.  
> As always ,  
> Enjoy !

When I finally entered my classroom the next day, I saw Amy busy with her phone, sitting on MY desk. I sighed and took off my headphones as I approached my , in fact, our desk.  
I guess this was how a friendship worked.  
She saw me and smiled widely, I couldn't help smiling back.  
I felt like a whole different person with her, in a much better sense, for sure.  
" Hey, " she said as soon as I sat down next to her.  
" Hey yourself, " I said while taking my textbook from my bag, all the while Amy was blushing and giggling to her phone.Suddenly she handed me her phone, showing a photo of herself with a red haired boy, they were both smiling to the camera, they looked so cute, so happy.

I smiled slightly.  
" Who is he? " I asked.  
" My boyfriend," she said with an even wider smile, she almost looked like the chesire cat. " You look so cute together. " I commented and I was actually sincere, not just trying to sound nice.  
" Thanks ! " she said and locked her phone. She seemed like she sensed my uneasiness, again. God, was I really that easy to read?  
" So, " she said trying to draw my attention, I lifted my head from my textbook and met her eyes.

She had a playful smirk on her face. " You don't talk much about yourself, " she said " Tell me, do you have a boyfriend? "  
Hah, I saw that one coming , I thought to myself.  
" I don't, " I said with, hopefully, a poker face.  
" How come ? " she asked clearly surprised.  
" Why are you so surprised? " I asked, a little annoyed with her reaction." Not everybody has to have a relationship. "  
" You look fascinating, that's why! can't you see that? every single boy in our school would more than willingly date you ! " she said in an overly excited manner.  
" I-I, thank you," I said as I was caught off guard, I was not used to receiving compliments.

At the moment, I felt like I should have opened up to her more. I can't live forever hiding from people. I needed a friend and Amy was just perfect for it.  
" Uhm, Amy. " I said hesitantly, not really sure how to continue.  
" Yes ? " she said, a little surprised that I talked to her first.  
" Let's assume that you have a crush on someone you are not supposed to, " I said and looked at her. She was listening to me very carefully. I continued.  
" And let's assume that this guy you have a crush on is like the only guy you really know because you've never dated anyone before and you are not exactly a social butterfly either." I said and mentally punched myself in the face.  
I bet she could already tell I was talking about myself.  
But when I looked into her eyes again, there was no judgment, no scorn. She clearly just wanted to help me.  
And I trusted her even more.

" So " I said as I come to my main question " what would you do about your inappropriate crush? How would you get over it? but again, assuming you don't really want to get over. "  
I was finally finished and nervously waiting for her answer, not sure if I wanted to hear.

" Well, she said, " Let me explain it with an example.Imagine a little girl who is put in an ice cream store full of strawberry ice cream, no other flavors are sold. She eats strawberry ice cream for so long that in her little mind, ice cream equals strawberry. She can't even think of any other flavors in her ice cream, even the thought of flavors other than strawberry makes her sick in her stomach. But to her misfortune, one day she finds out that she had developed some kind of allergy to strawberry " Amy paused.

I was captivated by her intelligent usage of metaphor.

" And the strawberry ice cream becomes her inappropriate crush because it will hurt her in the end. " I said calmly  
" Exactly! " Amy said before continuing her story " At first, out little girl cries, yells and begs for a little piece of strawberry ice cream, she craves for it. But one day, .the store owner decides to sell more flavors. And for the first time in her life, she meets with other flavors: lemonade, vanilla, and chocolate. She thinks that all those flavors look or smell nothing like her lovely strawberry ice cream. She wants to get back to the comfort of her strawberry ice cream but she remembers how harmful it was for her and decides to give those other flavors a chance. She slowly approaches to the lemonade one and forces herself to have a spoon. As soon as she puts it in her mouth, she hates it and spits it all over the floor. She wants to go back to her strawberry but she just can't. With a reduced hope, she moves to the vanilla. She puts a spoonful in her mouth and actually manages to swallow. She doesn't love the taste either but she could at least swallow it. But she still needed her strawberry so bad.  
Then, she moves to the chocolate one, with her hope on its limits , she puts a spoonful of chocolate ice cream in her mouth and she is amazed. She actually likes it so much even though chocolate tasted nothing like strawberry. Then she realizes strawberry is not the only flavor around and that she just has to give a chance to others." she finished with a proud expression on her petite face.  
I was so impressed ,if I must admit.

" So, this little girl and her chocolate ice cream lived happily ever after? " I asked jokingly.  
" Nah, she probably grew tired of it and moved on to caramel, doesn't matter. " she said raising her hand, offering me a high-five. " Your point is here, come and get it, " she said again moving her fingers.  
I raised my hand and gave her a high-five saying " Point taken ."  
We both giggled as the school bell rang.  
***********  
The last bell finally rang and I started to pack my stuff quickly all the while thanking gods because the school was over.  
Then I felt a hand on my shoulder, It must be Amy, I thought.  
" Weren't you supposed to meet your boyfriend ? " I asked playfully and turned around to face her.  
But It was not Amy.  
It was, in fact, my bully. William.  
OH, CRAP.  
" What do you want? " I asked not wanting to talk to him at all.  
He looked offended with my behavior but continued anyway.  
" I know you are still mad at me because I've been rude to you before." he said avoiding an eye contact with me, he looked like a guilty child waiting to be punished.  
" Yeah, so? " I said folding my arms, I guess I was not helping him at all.  
"I acted like such a douche I know, but, I didn't have any other choice. " he said looking even more embarrassed.  
" You know what? It is fine. I am not mad at all. " I said impatiently as I tried to leave but I was again stopped by his hand on my shoulder.  
I looked at his hand angrily, causing him to withdraw instantly.  
" Oh, shit, I am so sorry Anne ! " he said fixing his long hair nervously " Gosh, you are not making this easy for me. "  
" I said It is fine ! you don't have to apologize, I just don't care, alright? now can you please excuse me? " I said folding my arms for the second time.  
" I did it because I had no other choice ! " he yelled suddenly, making me step back instinctively, "I thought it was the only way I could draw your attention." 

I slowly unfolded my arms. I didn't know what to say.  
Luckily, he was not finished yet.  
" The truth is, I like you since the first time I' ve ever laid my eyes on you. You hypnotized me with your beauty, your grace, your intelligence. You were nothing like those other girls who throw themselves at me " he said as he took a step toward me.

Do girls throw themselves at you? wow, that's a surprise I thought to myself but still stood there silent.  
" And if you let me take you out on a date, I would be the happiest guy alive. " he said gently and reached for my hand but I quickly withdrew.  
He looked hurt but still continued.

" Please, Anne, just give me one chance and I will make it up to you, please ." He said and I actually felt sorry for him. I opened my mouth to turn him down but I remembered about the story Amy told me this morning.  
He was probably the " lemonade ice cream " but I had to try.  
My stomach twitched unpleasantly at that thought. Because all I wanted was to go home and lick my strawberry ice cream.  
"O-okay." I said, forcing myself.  
With my answer, his face suddenly lit up.  
" Oh yes! thank you so much, Anne ! you won't regret it I promise ! " he said with a huge grin.

But the thing he didn't know was, I was regretting it already.


	9. The disaster date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, I thought to myself, he was in fact a used baby diaper flavored ice cream with vomit sauce on top."
> 
> Is it normal wanting to murder someone who isn't even real ?  
> As always enjoy and please let me know what you think.  
> :)

" And this, is my new toy." He said gesturing a black open-top Porsche.  
" What do you think ? " he asked while harshly patting on the car's bonnet.  
" It looks expensive. " I said hating the fact that he was just playing around with his parents' money. " How much did you pay ? " I asked questioningly , already sensing his answer.  
" I don't know, dad takes care of stuff like that, jump in. " he said and literally jumped right into his seat.

I mean , hello ? these doors are here for a reason, I thought to myself and said " Then let your 'dad' be the one who shows off his money, not you." and got in the car , through the door, of course.  
" Grumpy little thing, aren't you ? " he said smugly while reaching for my cheek but I quickly turned my head away.  
" Please ! " I said warningly.  
" Okay , okay, jesus ! " he said and put both of his hands in the air. " No touching " he added while showing perfectly formal teeth of his.

In fact, his teeth are the only thing formal about him , I thought.  
I rolled my eyes and put my seat belt on as he started the engine.

" Are you not going to put your seat belt on ? " I asked not believing my eyes.  
" Life is too short to put my seat belt on ." he said leaving me speechless " also, what do you think I am , a 40-year-old ? " he added and started driving.  
Is he kidding me ? no one could be that shallow, could they ?

" Life is short enough and you intent to make it even shorter by not putting your seat belt on ? " I asked deadly serious.  
But he laughed and said " Haha, good one. " as if I made a joke.  
Yes, he is THAT shallow, I thought to myself.  
He was " the lemonade ice cream " with no shadow of a doubt. Then he started the music player and a Justin Bieber song came out at max volume.  
No, I thought to myself, he was in fact a used baby diaper flavored ice cream with vomit sauce on top.  
*******  
Nearly 10 minutes later, we stopped in front of a very fancy-looking Chinese restaurant and yes, we arrived " that" quickly because he was driving at the speed of light.  
" Here we are " he said and got out of the car, as I was still sitting with my mouth open.I couldn't move a muscle because I was still in shock.  
He then opened my door and bowed dramatically saying " At your service , your majesty ."

I forced myself out of the car, with my legs shaking and my hair in a complete mess, thanking gods I was still in one piece. He forcefully held my hand and started dragging me to the restaurant.While trying to get out of his grasp, " Wait " I said causing him to stop " Do we at least have a reservation ? "  
That was then he took something out of his pocket, which looked like a business card and held it to my face.

" This is our reservation ." he said while shoving it back again in his pocket and started dragging me again.  
When we entered through the door, the receptionist greeted us politely , he was an Asian man in his late fifties of early sixties, I assumed.

" Hey, you ! " William yelled to him vulgarly. And I immediately shut him up .  
" Just let me do all the talking , alright ? " I whispered to William and turned my attention to the receptionist, who was politely smiling at us.  
I smiled at him back and said " Hello , sir. We would like a table for two , please. " 

He then checked on the list he was holding and with a heavy accent he said " Excuse me, mi'lady, all our tables are booked. But I could add you on our replacement list if you would like."  
I, again, smiled politely and said " That won't be necessary, sir, thank you for your time ." then I turned to William who was grinding his teeth furiously and said:  
" See? there is no room for us, let's go. " but he ignored me.  
" What replacement list ? " he said his eyes full of fire.  
" You clearly don't know who you are talking to, you pigmy freak.Call your manager before I report you to the immigration office." He almost howled.  
"B-but sir.. " receptionist tried to explain himself but William didn't let him.  
" Call your manager, RİGHT. THE.FUCK.NOW "he said now thoroughly howling. I turned to him, shaking my head. I couldn't believe how much lower he got each time he spoke.

At the moment , a tall and grey haired guy showed up. He was wearing an expensive looking suit. He must be the manager, I thought.  
He looked extremely angry while approaching to us.  
" What is going on here ? " he asked to the receptionist.  
Thanks to William , now we were about to be kicked out.

" Long time no see , John. " William said with a smirk, drawing the manager's attention to us. The manager's furious expression immediately replaced with a grateful one.  
They shook hands as the manager said " Mr.Carter , what a pleasant surprise ! What do we owe the honor of your presence ? " all the while I was still in shock because of the dramatical change in his manner.  
" To this beautiful lady , Anne Mary Hiddleston, daughter of the famous actor, Tom Hiddleston." He said while putting his one hand on the small of my back.  
For Judas' sake ! He was even showing off my father!  
Oh how I wanted to break that filthy hand of his but I contained myself and put a fake smile on my face as I shook hands with the manager.  
" It is an honor to meet you , Miss Hiddleston. I am a huge fan of your father's, I must say. " he said with a wide smile, putting his porcelain dental implants on display.  
So am I, I thought to myself but stayed silent as I kept my fake smile on.

" Please allow me to guide you to our best table. " the older man said walking before us and gesturing us to follow him.  
" Wait ! " I said causing them to stop.  
" What is it , Miss Hiddleston ? " he asked with a concerned face " Is there something bothering you ? "  
" Actually, yes. " I said while trying to read the receptionist's badge on his bright red waistcoat and turned my head to William.  
" I want you to apologize to Mr. Wang because of your terribly rude behavior towards him." I said folding my arms.  
" You are kidding me ,right? " he said with a mocking grin on his handsome face.  
" No, I am completely serious, either you apologize to him or I am leaving. " I said in a serious tone.  
" Fuck that , I am not apologizing to a pathetic staff like him ." he said with a disgusted expression on his face.  
" Very well , enjoy your meal alone then. " I said and turned to leave but William immediately grasped me by my forearm.  
Apparently, he was having second thoughts.

" Okay, okay, jesus ! " he said for the 100th time with a surrendered expression as he turned to the Asian man, whose eyes were focused on the floor, in a total embarrassment.  
" I am sorry, okay ? " he said casually.  
" Properly. " I warned. He was completely lack of manners. What were his parents thinking for gods' sake ?

William sighed before saying:  
" Please, excuse me for my 'terribly rude behavior' earlier Mr. Wang " a hint of mock in his voice, which I ignored.  
" Satisfied ? " he asked turning to me.  
" Much better. " I said I as let the manager to guide us to a table.  
His hand was again on small of my back.  
" You know I would never do that for any other girl, right ? " he said crushing me into his well- built body " I have a weakness for you " he added.  
" You shouldn't do this for me , or for anybody else. You should to this for yourself.This is called basic humanity. " I said trying to push him away from me.

I was starting to freak out.  
" I like you even more when you act all frigid like that. Normally I don't dig " shy maiden " type of girls but whatever you are doing right now really works for me "  
" You know..." he added while sliding his hand lower " I hope you worth all the trouble you've caused at the end of the night ." he whispered into my ear and slightly touched my butt before letting go of me completely.

I felt so sick , I could almost taste my vomit.  
What have I gotten myself into ?


	10. A villain to Marvel , a hero to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was in the arms of my savior, my knight who saved me from all the harm ,evil and darkness of the world, my nurse when I felt sick, my play friend when I held tea parties with my dolls, my storyteller when I couldn't sleep, my father."
> 
> be ready to get a little emotional :)  
> And let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy :)

" Yes, here. " I said as William pulled over right in front of our house.  
" Uuh, thank you for the dinner. " I said as I put my seat belt off " Good night. " I added reluctantly and as I was about to get out of the car, I felt his hand on my forearm again.

" Now, what's with the rush ? I think you are forgetting something " he said smugly and smirked widely.

" What ? " I asked huffing, trying so hard not to roll my eyes. The only thing I wanted was to go home and hold my father and never, ever let him go again.

I quickly shook my head to gather myself together. I needed to be strong.

" .. A goodnight kiss " he said as he started to close the distance between us.

" No ! " I said immediately turning my head away from him, and pushing him with my both hands. He then sat back on his seat, huffing and puffing. As he turned his head away from me , he looked like he was actually trying to calm himself down.

Then suddenly he yelled and hit both sides of the steering wheel with his palms, causing me to be startled.

" WHY ? " he howled. " Why the fuck are you avoiding me as if I am smitten with the plague ?" he was so enraged that he was spitting all over me while yelling.

" Calm down , will you ? " I said with my gentlest voice " It is not about you, It is about me." Oh how cliché, I thought as my stomach was twitching like crazy even at the thought of kissing him, or kissing anyone other than my father, to be more specific.

He mockingly laughed at my statement.  
" How come It is not about me while you run away from me like I am some kind of freak, god damn it ! " he yelled again.

I slowly shook my head as I felt hot tears filling my eyes, " Y-you don't understand " I said almost whispering, the shaking of my voice was our of hand. I could feel my social anxiety was getting control of my body.

" No, no I understand. " he said slightly calmer, " You think you are better than me, right ? you think I am not good enough for you " then he tightened his grasp on my forearm.

" You think you are an actual fucking princess but guess what, you are not! you are just a socially awkward loser, nothing more. " he said, not yelling but with his voice full of anger.

He laughed mockingly before continuing.  
" I actually gave you a chance god damn it, a fucking chance to be MY girlfriend, William James Carter 's. Do you know how many girls out there who would KILL to be in your place ? " he said, forcing me to look into his eyes.

I was biting my lips so hard not to burst into tears right away as I sat there silently.  
I wouldn't let his scum see how afraid I was.

" Then why are you not with one of those girls? " I asked while trying to get my forearm back " It would be easier for you ,at least you wouldn't be begging for a fucking kiss right now !" When I finally forced my arm out of his grasp, I pushed him away harsly with my both hands making him hit the door with a loud thud.

" Oh , I see " he said while gathering himself together " You like it rough don't you ? well, since I feel rather generous today, I will give you what you've always secretly wanted."  
And as soon as he finished his sentence, he swept down on me.

I was exclaiming madly all the while trying to kick him off of me because he was holding my hands together.

" Oh,fuck .." he said while trying to kiss my neck yet not really succeeding as I was moving my head left to right constantly, not giving him permission. " I liked your sexual taste, I must confess, I am hard as a fucking stone right now ! " he added huskily.

At that moment , I felt like he was being pulled off of me by someone. When he was completely off , I could see who.

My hero, my savior , my sunshine.

My father.

************

I quickly got out as I saw my father held William by his collar and roughly slammed him to the bonnet of the car. I took a few steps towards them although not really trying to stop my father.

This scum deserved it all. 

My father's eyes became deep dark electric blue again as he snarled through his teeth.

" If I ever , EVER , see you near my daughter again, I will tear your pathetic face to pieces." and punched him right on his nose so hard that I was actually worried about his hand.

" Do you understand ? " My father howled while William was nodding crazily and sobbing so hard at all the same time, causing the blood leaking from his now crushed nose to mix with his saliva.

"Tell me you understood me ." he snarled once again, punching him for the second time, this time on his right cheek, causing his head to turn left.

"I-I understand-d ss-sir " he said hoarsely because of his crushed nose.

"Good." my father said calmly as he wiped his blood covered hands to William's collar.

" Now " he said when he was finished " Fuck off ".

After that, within 10 seconds, William was gone.

He then turned to me with his face full of concern, his eyes were light ocean blue again, trying to steady his breathing.

" Mary, my love. " he said taking a step towards me " Are you alright ? " he asked.

I couldn't bring myself to speak nor take a step for a while. I was captivated by the fact that how on earth he could get back to his gentleman self in no time.He was covered in sweat and blood but he looked perfect to me.

Then suddenly , I ran to him and threw myself into his arms.

" Father! " I exclaimed and burst into tears as I wrapped my arms around his neck ,with one hand grasping his nape.

" Mary.." he said as he wrapped one arm around my waist tightly, pulling me to him, with one hand holding back of my head, kissing and sniffing my hair.

"Sssh..my love , It's over, I am here now."

"F-father .." I said between my sobs. I couldn't stop crying.How could I stop it? There was a carnival of emotions inside of my heart.

I was in the arms of my savior, my knight who saved me from all the harm ,evil and darkness of the world, my nurse when I felt sick, my play friend when I held tea parties with my dolls, my storyteller when I couldn't sleep, my father.

Yet at the same time , I was in the arms of the only man I was madly, crazily, insanely in love with, the only man I could ever imagine giving myself to, the only man who drove me crazy with the slightest touch, the only man I've ever wanted to hold his hand and never let go.

" Hush, my love ." my father whispered tearing me away from my thoughts. " Don't cry , please , It is all over now ."

" I-I am n-not crying b-because o-of him " I said between my sobs, " I-I am c-crying b-because I l-love you s-so much It c-crushes my h-heart."

And It was true.  
I loved him so much, that my heart couldn't contain anymore.

" You d-don't understand." I said brokenly as I repeatedly hit his chest lightly with my fists.I was angry at him for not accepting my heart the way I wanted, I was grateful to him for not understanding my confession. " God, can't you see that ? you are crushing me with your kindness! you are too perfect to be the father of a failure like me " I said crying hysterically.

" You don't deserve a daughter like me. "

He, then put a little distance between us just so we could have an eye contact, grasping my both shoulders with his each hand.  
"You are the most amazing daughter I could ever imagine, darling.You mean everything to me. You are my world, my blood, my only daughter." he said and dried my tears with his thumbs.

" Oh, no, if only you knew. " I said vaguely as I sniffed and wiped my tears with the back of my hand " If only you knew, you would never want to see me ever again. "

My father looked concerned for a moment before smiling bittersweetly.

" There is absolutely nothing on earth you can say or do to make me not want to see you ever again. " he said gingerly as if he was afraid of hurting me, looking right into my eyes.  
" And nothing can ever change that, especially an insignificant lie. " he said smiling.  
" W-what lie ? " I asked in fear, once again, I felt like I was right on the edge again.  
One step and I was going to end up in hell.

"When you said you were going to meet Amy today. " he said the same way he used to talk to me when I was a kid. " I knew there was something else , love. You are a terrible liar. "  
" Oh. that. " I said as I couldn't bring myself to say anything else, I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed or both.  
"Yes,that" he said a bit suspiciously. " What else have you had in mind ? "  
" Oh , nothing. " I said smiling as I decided I was feeling relieved " thank you for being my father , Tom. " I playfully said , hugging him once again.  
" No, thank YOU for being such a lovely daughter , Mary. " he said hugging me back as we both smiled.  
" Let's get you home , shall we ? " he offered as he reached his hand to me.


	11. A cuddle on the couch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " You have a very tender nature Mary, yet you are so strong. I know, as time passed by, you built a shelter around you and hid in it, never letting anyone in. Because you thought it was the only way to protect yourself from the big bad world outside. But now, I see your shelter has been cracking lately, letting people in, just like a friend and well, a boyfriend."  
> " This situation both makes me happy and worried ."
> 
> Let's learn something about Anne Mary's childhood.  
> As always enjoy and well, let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy :)

I could see my father, sitting on the couch across the living room, looking at something which looked like a photo album with a soulful expression oh his god-like face, as I was coming down the ladder, drying my dripping wet hair with a towel, wearing my baggy sleep t-shirt ( It had a very sleepy -looking Garfield holding a coffee mug, saying " I hate Mondays " printed on it ) and black tights.

I smiled happily yet a bit sleepily as I was approaching him, a steamy hot shower indeed had calmed my nerves down.  
As I came closer, I could truly see he was holding an old photo album full of my childhood photos on his lap, wearing his nerdy glasses.  
Just like that certain dream I saw.  
I immediately shook my head at that thought because my teenager hormones wouldn't help me at all with our dad/daughter time.

I, then, held the hemline of my t-shirt between my thumb and index finger and slightly lifted as if I was wearing a dress, bowing playfully I said:  
" Would you mind If I joined you, sir? "

My little play must have been amused him because he smiled widely before taking off his glasses saying " I would be honored to have the companionship of a beautiful young lady such as yourself " as he took my hand and guided it to his lips.  
I giggled coyly as I sat right next to him, letting my head rest on his solid chest and wrapping one arm around his abdomen. I liked it a lot when he flirted me back in situations like these.

Even though I knew he was just playing around.

He, in return, wrapped his one arm around my shoulders with one hand caressing my moist hair. I was about to fall asleep int he coziness of his strong arms yet I forced my eyes to be open. Because I wanted to enjoy every single minute of us being alone, in private.  
Wait, I thought to myself. Speaking of which, where was my mother?

" Dad .." I asked in suspense, " Where is mother? "  
" I don't know, darling. " he said his voice full of sorrow, or anger, or both.  
" She said she wouldn't be coming home tonight but she didn't bother to tell me where she was or who she was with." all the while keeping his caress on my hair.  
"Oh..." I said vaguely, hating myself because of the sadness I've caused him. In order to change the subject, " When did we take this photo? " I asked while gesturing a photo of me and father in a beach, father smiling widely while I was looking at the camera with an upset expression on my tiny face, the sunshine pointing out my little freckles even more.

" Oh, this.." he explained with his voice evidently blissful. " This is from our trip to Costa Rica while you were just three years old." with a bittersweet smile, gesturing my little pink swimsuit in the photo, he continued: " You were furious because we made you wear this swimsuit, you refused to take off your clothes." He giggled cheerfully when I lifted my head up to meet his eyes, also giggling.

" You wanted to be fully-clothed even at the beach while other children at your age were wandering around naked, you had very strict principles about public nudity. Even when you were just three years old, you had the morals of a 50-year-old French governess." he said with a huge smile, now caressing my right cheek with his thumb.

I chuckled rather loudly while turning the page and gesturing another photo of us. In that photo, there was a little boy reaching his little hand to me while I was hiding behind my father's back, none of us looking at the camera.

" What about this one? " I asked, trying to choose photos without my mother in them.  
" Oh, that was hilarious ." He said keeping the cute little smile of his " In this photo, you were just five years old.We were at the birthday party of our old neighbors' son, Harry." while gesturing the little boy.

" He had a huge crush on you back then. There, he was asking you to dance with him, It is like I could still hear ' Careless Whisper ' playing in the background. " he laughed rather loudly before continuing "But whenever he came near you, you would run to me and hide behind my back saying ' make him go away daddy '. " mimicking my little girl voice.  
" Well, I guess somethings never change ." I mumbled to myself before playfully hitting his chest with my hand and saying: " No, you are lying ! " with a parodied spoilsport little girl's voice.

" I am not ." he said again mimicking my voice, holding my hand and carrying it to its old place. " You were such a daddy's little girl."  
" Look ! " he said gesturing another photo of us, this time surprisingly enough, both father and I were smiling at the camera while holding our hands up, showing our ring pop candies on our fingers.  
Oh, no. I perfectly remembered this photo. I actually thought I was I married to my father!  
I guess that's why I was smiling that sincerely.

" We took this photo on Harry's birthday. After our little ' marriage ceremony ', you ran to Harry saying you would never marry him because you were already married to me " he said laughing so hard as I was smiling nervously, as If my secret was revealed.

" I still remember poor little boy crying all day because of us, later that day, I had to eat my wedding ring because it was hot outside and my candy was starting to melt. Because of that, you refused to talk to me for like 2 weeks straight. " he then kissed the top of my head and continued:  
" It took me forever to win my stubborn princess' heart back ".

" Well, it is a common thing for little girls to want to marry their dads ." I said without looking at him, hiding my crimson red cheeks because It was not that common for 17-year-old girls to want to marry their dads.

"Oh, I remember this one. " I said with my voice full of interest while gesturing another photo of me. This time alone, standing in the school yard with my dark green and black uniforms, my hair tied in a firm ponytail again a serious expression on my face.  
Guess my father was right about the french governess.

" This is the first day of school " I continued with a slight smile.  
" Indeed it is ." he said while examining the photo for a couple more seconds before turning to me.  
" I always knew you were a different child, Mary. You were nothing like those other kids in your school. You had a dignity in your soul. Your kindness, your grace. Everybody could see that, including your teachers and well.. " he said with an uneasy expression on his handsome face.  
" And those other kids in your class.. That is why they were always rude to you, they were jealous of your teachers' affection towards you, they were jealous because instinctively they knew you were special."

I immediately looked away from him, feeling dizzy.Because with every word he said, he was forcing me to face with those horrible memories that I tried so hard to forget.  
I felt a tear slowly rolling down my cheek.  
But he took my chin, turning my head back to him, forcing me to look into his sapphire-like eyes once again.  
" I remember you coming home crying, begging me to not take you to school ever again. Yet every time I wanted to talk to your teacher about it, you stopped me because you didn't want them to see you hurt. " he said almost whispering, then wiped my tears away with his thumb.

" You have a very tender nature Mary, yet you are so strong. I know, as time passed by, you built a shelter around you and hid in it, never letting anyone in. Because you thought it was the only way to protect yourself from the big bad world outside. But now, I see your shelter has been cracking lately, letting people in, just like a friend and well, a boyfriend."  
He said, pausing a bit in the boyfriend part and causing my heart to jump in expectancy.  
Could he be.. jealous?

Before I could say anything, he continued.

" This situation both makes me happy and worried ." He finished his sentence with a sorrowful expression. All the while I was shaking my head hysterically saying " N-no! father ! he is NOT my boyfriend h-he is just.."

" Hush, love, I know. " he said interrupting me. " It is perfectly normal for a young man to chase after you. In fact, considering how beautiful my princess is, I am guessing there are a lot of those and one day eventually you will fall in love with one of them and well, you will leave your old father behind."  
" NO! " I exclaimed before wrapping my both arms around him, tightly. " I would never leave you, dad. I couldn't! " I said almost crying, all the while my father was caressing my hair again to calm me down.  
" You will, my love. " he said with a wise tone in his deep voice. " It is a law of nature.One day, you will fall in love and get married. "

I can't fall in love with a young man.  
I won't fall in love with a young man.  
BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU!

All those things I wanted to say but couldn't say were making me want to cry even more.  
All I could do was to shake my head crazily while biting my lips to prevent myself from bursting into tears.

" Mary. " my father said while holding both my upper arms, shaking me slightly " Mary, look at me."  
I forced myself to look deep into his eyes, with my eyes full of tears.

" I want you to promise me. You will be careful about who you love, who you trust. " I said nothing in return, meanwhile I was still looking into his eyes, as if my eyes could tell everything I felt for him.

" Just promise me, please my love." he said almost begging, a single tear rolling down his cheek.  
" I promise .." I whispered before kissing his tear away.

After that, I've completely lost it and burst into tears on his chest.


	12. The playwriting contest.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Know about Electra complex?  
> BITCH, PLEASE.  
> I LIVE in Electra complex.  
> I am Electra herself, god damn it.
> 
> Sorry for the delay. Exam weeks *sigh*  
> Please go ahead and read and let me know what you think.  
> Enjoy :)

When I finally arrived at the classroom door with my sweaty tomato face and my hair in a complete mess, I checked my watch and saw that I was actually 5 minutes late.

" Hope the teacher hasn't come yet." I mumbled to myself and as I was reaching for the door handle, I froze with the deep voice I heard behind me.  
" No, he has not Miss Hiddleston. " I heard my psychology teacher, Mr. Brooke say as he opened the door for me, I mean, for us.  
" Let's go in, shall we ? " he then asked all the while guiding me inside with his hand on the small of my back. I quickly stepped forward in order to get away from his hand, what was with this unnecessary physical contact between us anyway?

" Thank you, Mr. Brooke," I mumbled uneasily, as I was approaching to my desk. I could see Willam staring at me fiercely with a bandage on his nose and his right cheek all swoolen. He looks terrible, I thought to myself before sitting down next to Amy, now my official desk mate. She smiled at me sweetly as always and I smiled back at her before saying " Good morning Miss Warner. " 

I didn't know why but I was actually feeling quite playful today.  
Maybe, my father was right about my shelter cracking lately.

"Good morning Miss Hiddleston. You look wonderful today." She said trying to sound like an old maid lady from a Jane Austen book. I opened my mouth to continue our little play but with the warning voice of Mr. Brooke, we both turned our attentions to him.

" Alright, kids." he said holding our exam papers we took last week. " Before we start, I'd like to announce your results. " He, then, tossed his a little longer than chin length blond hair behind his ear. He must be in his mid-thirties, I thought to myself. His eyes were so light blue, almost as light as Marilyn Manson's eye contacts. He had a bushy blond beard framing his well-sculptured jawline and his body was way too much well-built for a psychology teacher or for any teacher. He was tall, very tall in fact, with board shoulders and large biceps, such that the tight blue shirt he had on looked like it was about to explode any moment.

He actually looked like a perfect mixture of blond Jesus and Thor.

" Miss Hiddleston? " I heard my teacher say, tearing me away from my thoughts.  
" Yes? " I said vaguely, all the while hoping so hard that he didn't see me staring at him like a creep.  
" An A+, very good job, as always. " he said as he handed me my paper and well, after that, I think he kinda winked.

At me.  
Winked at me.  
Whaaad ?

" Did he just wink at you? " Amy asked whispering, with an allusive smirk on her face.  
" What? No ! " I said, in a little overly excited manner than I intended " I mean I didn't see him because obviously, I was not looking at him but I am sure he didn't. " as soon as I was finished , I wanted to punch myself right on the big, dumb mouth of mine.  
Why was I acting that weirdly?

At that moment, thankfully, Mr. Brooke started speaking again.

" Alright kids, now that everybody know about their results we can move on to our main subject.Today we are going to be discussing psychosexual stages." then he turned around and wrote " Electra complex "and " Oedipus Complex " on the board.

I immediately fixed my eyes on the textbook in front of me, not daring to look anyone in the eye.  
It was impossible I knew but I felt as if suddenly a speech balloon appeared above my head " This girl is head over heels in love with her father " writing on it.  
" Is there anyone who heard about Electra complex before? " I heard my teacher ask and I felt even more uncomfortable if possible.

Apparently, I was acting like a paranoiac but I could swear I felt his eyes on me.

" Miss Hiddleston ? " he said and I had to lift my head to meet his eyes.I was caught, badly.  
" You don't speak much in class. Do you, by any chance, know about Electra complex ? " he asked with an affectionate smile on his face and also making me question the possibility of 'that' speech balloon's existence above my head.

Know about Electra complex?  
BITCH, PLEASE.  
I LIVE in Electra complex.  
I am Electra herself, god damn it.

" Yes, I heard about it. " I said calmly, trying so hard to sound as nonchalant as possible.  
"Well. " he said while folding his giant arms " Would you care to share your knowledge with us? "

I cleared my throat before answering.

" Electra complex is basically a psychologic term used to describe a girl's sense of competition with her mother for the affections of her father. " I said confidently, " In another word, It is the female version of the Oedipus complex. "

Mr. Brooke nodded his head in agreement and with an impressed expression on his face " Very well-described, Miss Hiddleston. " he said before turning his attention to class.  
" Does anybody have questions about Electra complex ? " he asked and in no time, nearly all girls in the class lifted their hands up to attract his attention.

They were all trying so hard to flirt with him.

" Yes, Miss Bonham." he said gesturing a girl with the reddest hair ever.  
She would look much prettier if she had less makeup on, I thought to myself as she stood up all giggly and in a playfully shy manner.

" Let's assume that there is a girl who only likes men twice her age. " she said and winked at her friends who were also giggling and blushing crazily.  
How pathetic, I thought and turned my head to Amy, we smiled at each other and at that moment, I knew we were thinking exactly the same thing.

" So.. " the red haired girl continued " Does it mean that this girl may have Electra complex ? " after her obviously flirtatious question Mr. Brooke looked puzzled for a moment before opening his mouth to answer but Amy interrupted him.

" No." She said wryly " It means that ' this girl ' has some serious daddy issues. ", causing all class, including myself, to burst into laughter, meanwhile the red-haired girl sat back down her seat huffing and puffing, throwing malicious glances towards us. All the while Mr. Brooke was trying to silence the class. I reached my hand to Amy, offering her a handshake.

" A very good one, Miss Warner. " I said as we shook hands once.  
" Why thank you, Miss Hiddleston . " she said smiling widely before speaking again.  
" I can't believe all those girls trying to flirt with Mr. Brooke. I mean he is quite something that's for sure but he is like old ." she said as she let go of my hand " It is like flirting with your own dad, how gross. " she continued with a disgusted expression on her face.  
" Gross, indeed. " I said ironically enough, with a half smile.

At that moment, break time bell rang.

" Alright kids, you shall leave now. " Mr. Brooke said to the class. " Except for you, Anne. " he said turning to me.  
After his statement, both Amy and I looked at each other. What was that supposed to mean?  
"Uh, after you are finished... " Amy said hesitantly, looking at me and Mr. Brooke "... I'll be waiting for you outside. " she said to me and left the class.

" Yes, Mr. Brooke? " I asked with a serious expression on my face, maybe a bit annoyed too.  
"Anne, I've been meaning to ask you about your future arrangements."  
I looked at him totally puzzled.Not really sure what he meant, he seemed to sense my confusion, so he continued.  
" I mean since you are graduating this year. I was wondering if you've decided which university you'll enroll yet. "

" Oh. " I said, wondering why he was that interested in my future arrangements " Well, I haven't decided which university yet but I am pretty sure I will study psychology. "  
" A very wise choice, Miss Hiddleston. " he said smiling widely, putting his perfectly white teeth on display.  
" Uhm, thank you so much, Mr. Brooke. " I said at the same time wondering why on earth was he not modeling " But I couldn't understand the reason why we are having this conversation right now."

He had the most understanding face expression ever as he started speaking again.  
" I see your confusion, Miss Hiddleston. Very well there are two reasons for that. Firstly, I just want you to know that you are the most brilliant student in my class and that your interest and talent for psychology should not be wasted. " he then put one of his large hands on my right shoulder, causing me to recoil slightly.

" Whenever you need a help or a tutor in your life, you can always come to me ." he said with a heart warming smile.  
"Thank you so much." I said and smiled politely back." And the second reason? " I asked as he opened his folder and took out a brochure.  
" To give you this." he said as he handed me the brochure " The Bruntwood playwriting contest " writing on it.  
" A playwriting contest? " I asked wonderingly as I studied the paper before handing it back to him. " Oh, there must have been a misunderstanding. I am not a part of the theater club."  
" I know, you don't have to be a part of the theater club. " he explained while I stood there confused " You see, we are planning to start a playwriting team to join the contest.It is going to be very different from the actual theater club.We are going to be focusing solely on writing, not acting."

"But I don't know anything about playwriting or writing in general." I said as I nervously touched my arm " as much as I would love to be a part of the playwriting team, I don't want to take someone else's place who deserves it more than I do just because my father is an actor. "

" Wow, Anne, wait.I think there is a misunderstanding going on here. " Mr. Brooke said smiling widely before folding his arms again " Your father has nothing to do with this decision.You are being offered a place in the team because your English teacher thinks you have a potential in writing.She gave me your name. "

My brain kept screaming " Somebody thinks we are talented! finally! " as I stood there frozen with my mouth in a" O " shape.  
Thankfully, he was not finished yet.

" And as for myself, well, I already know your potential and interest for psychology and human behavior, which by the way, is crucial in playwriting."  
" And as for last but not least, don't worry about your lack of knowledge about playwriting. After the team is set up, you will be taking classes after school until we start writing as a team.We'll also be guiding you so you are not going to be alone. "

Every cell in my body screamed " Just accept it already ! " as my anxiety kept saying " But what if you screw it all up and get laughed at? "  
I felt a sweat droplet sliding down my spine.  
" I.. " I said almost whispering.  
Mr. Brooke looked at me understandingly before putting an end to my struggle.

" You don't have to say anything now.Just promise me that you'll think about it. "  
" I promise. " I said smiling at him with gratitude. " Thank you so much for this opportunity. "  
" Oh, you are very welcome.You deserved it. " he said as he took his bag.  
" Now, you shall go and meet your friend. " 

I smiled again and quickly got out of the class, searching for Amy.


	13. Our crimson night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains too much crimson peak spoiler, if you haven't seen the movie yet well, I think you should see it first because it was simply amazing and then come back and read! :)
> 
> And I must confess, this chapter is my personal favorite.What is yours ?  
> Enjoy and let me know what you think.
> 
> And , well ,  
> Be aware of the crimson peak.

That night, again, we were having one of our usual nervous dinners because finally, we've been graced with mother's most precious presence.

I rolled my eyes as I reached for my glass full of iced tea, I would actually use a wine so badly but It was not ' that ' day of the week and I would never disobey my father's rules.

None of us was trying to start a conversation, mother as usual, was looking like she would prefer to be anywhere but here, as for me, well.

I was still thinking about Mr. Brooke's offer. Thankfully, today was Friday and there were two days ahead of me to think properly what to do about it.  
I smiled slightly as I felt butterflies in my stomach. For all this time, I was ignored,.Living just like a ghost, as if I was trapped in an isolated castle. I have never expected for anyone to think that I had a talent in writing.Not even in my wildest dreams.Well of course, as a fanfiction writer, I've received tons of reviews, e-mails and direct messages but this was so much different.

Maybe for the first time in my life, I felt appreciated.

Then I turned my attention to my father, who was chewing on his food with a thoughtful expression on his elegant face. He saw me looking at him and smiled bittersweetly at me and I smiled at him back before turning my attention back to my plate, not really eating because of the awkward tingly feeling I felt in my stomach.I prepared myself to tell my parents about the playwriting contest but my father interrupted.

" Well .." my father said and I turned my head back to him. He looked rather blissful or spirited or both, making me wonder if it was because of my mother's presence or something else.

"It is confirmed now, I've gotten the role I had told you before. " he continued and looked at my mother with a face full of expectation. But on the contrary, my mother was nonchalant as ever as she said:

" Oh, congratulations. " not even taking a glance at father, her full attention was on her wine she'd been drinking.

Why is she treating him like that, I thought to myself as I saw the disappointment in my father's eyes.Suddenly, I felt a lump in my throat.No matter what, she had no right to hurt him.  
" This is simply amazing, dad! " I said with a wide smile, forcing myself to hide my worry about their relationship " I am so proud of you! tell me more about it, you haven't told me much before. " I continued, intending to make up for my mother's earlier disinterest.

" Well. " my father said joining my glee. " It starts off as an ordinary gothic romance love story that sets in 19th century. " he continued after taking another sip from his glass.

"But then things start to get a little spookier and kinkier too. "

"Khughhh!!! " I coughed so hard as I nearly choked on my iced tea.Did he just say kinky or was I hallucinating " What do you mean by that !? " I asked with my hoarse voice because of my sore throat.

" Actually.. " he said after laughing at my dumbfounded face, looking at both me and my mother " I've been meaning to ask both of you for a favor.Then you will find out what I meant by it. " he then stood up " Just wait a minute. " he said and went upstairs.

When he was gone, I quickly turned to mother, with my eyes full of fire.

" What ? " my mother asked pretending not to notice my anger.

I looked at the somewhat drunk woman before me before speaking.

" Can't you at least try to pretend like you care about us? " I said, grinding my teeth when my father came back, holding three booklets in his hands.

" I have a read-through tomorrow and I would be grateful if you could help me practice tonight." he said, handing each of us a script.

" We would love that! " I said while excitedly examining the script, " **Crimson Peak** " written on it. Interesting name, I thought to myself.

" Right, mother? " I asked turning my head to mother, with a threatening expression on my face.

" Right, yes, whatever." mother said not even taking a peek at the script in front of her. What was wrong with her for Buddha's sake?

" But dad.." I said as I stood up to go to my room " First, let me read the whole script just so I can have a good command of the story. "

" For sure, love. " he said evidently delighted with my enthusiasm.

**********

As soon as I was finished with the script, I knew I had to read Lucille's lines. I could relate to her so well that actually in final scene, I was not able to hold back my tears.

Maybe that was because both Lucille and I had very similar destinies. Both of us were madly, desperately in love with a man we were not supposed to, a man we shared same blood with.

And we were both ready to turn the world upside down for our " Thomas " es.

" I am ready." I said as I came down stairs while approaching to my parents, who were sitting very far from each other.

" Okay, let's do it! woo hoo! " mother said with a parodied enthusiasm, a bit drunkenly.

Both father and I ignored her.

" Father, can I please read Lucille's lines? " I asked my father with my innocent puppy face.

" I am not sure, love. " my father said a bit hesitantly " Lucille is a very intense character and even if it is just a read-through, I think It must be read by a professional, such as your mother. "

" Yes but still.. " I said trying to hide my disappointment "I felt a strange connection with her while reading.And also, how can I be a professional myself if I won't be given a chance."

My father looked considerate for a moment before saying: " Well, you made a good point. " and smiled widely.

" You can read Lucille's lines."

*******

As we were getting closer to the final scene, both me and my father no longer needed to look at the script. We were standing up, getting lost in each other's eyes.

At that moment, I completely forgot who I was , who he was, where we were or what year we were in.I felt like I had lost my time perception.

There, we were just Thomas and Lucille.Nothing more, nothing less.

" _You burnt them._ " I said with my shaky voice gesturing somewhere behind his back.

" _Lucille.. "_ he said taking a step towards me.

" _You burnt them_. " I said again with a trembling voice.

" _Yes, she will live._ " Thomas said trying to hold me, " _You are not to touch her._ "

" _You are ordering me?_ " I asked almost whispering, trying to cling onto his shoulders, with a soulful expression on my face.

" _We can leave, Lucille, leave Allerdale Hall._ " Thomas said looking deep into my eyes.

" _Leave? "_ I asked dizzily.

" _Think about it._ " he said fervently " _We can start a new life._ "

" Where? " I asked bewildered.

" _Anywhere, It doesn't matter, we can leave it_ behind ,we _let the Sharpe name die with the mines, we let this edifice sink in the ground._ " he said grasping my both shoulders, his voice full of hope.

" _All these years holding these walls together, we would be free, free Lucille._ "

" _We can all be together. "_

 _" All?_ " I asked taking a step towards him, my voice full of sorrow.

" _Do you love her?_ " I asked shaking my head crazily.

" _This day had to come._ " Thomas said taking a step backwards, trying to get away from me. " We've been dead for years, Lucille. "

" _You promised..._ " I said whispering, looking right into his eyes, taking another step towards him.

" ... _You and I in this rotting place ..._ " Thomas kept saying, taking another step back.

" _Do you love her more than me?_ " I almost exclaimed, pushing him against the wall.

" _Look at what we become!_ " Thomas said also exclaiming.

" _You promised you would not be in love with anyone else !_ " I yelled feeling hot tears rolling down on my cheeks, feeling his betray deep down in my soul, not sure If I was Lucille talking to her brother or myself talking to my father, I felt hurt, badly.

" _Yes, but it happened._ " he whispered almost apologizing, reaching to touch my cheek.

At that moment, I didn't know how I managed it but I cried out like a suffering animal as I pretended to stab his shoulder with an invisible knife.Then for a moment, there was a total silence in the room, except my heavy breathing sounds.

Both father and I stayed still, not speaking nor breaking apart.

" W-wow... " I heard my mother say, not a hint of irony in her voice.

" Wow indeed.. " my father said his bright blue eyes full of excitement.

" Mary, you were simply amazing my dear !" he continued hugging me tightly. " I am so excited right now! "

"T-thank you. " I said vaguely, with my shaking legs and a dizziness in my head, I felt like I was possessed by Lucille's ghost shortly before.

" I feel light headed... " I said holding onto his arms tighter to not fall " I felt like a stranger in my own body, is this really how you all feel? It was so.. "

" Intense . " he said completing my sentence " welcome to the world of acting, love." he said kissing top of my head.

" You definitely are  a natural. A performance like that with absolutely no education, I never knew it."

" Well, what did you expect? It is in my blood." I said hugging him tightly.

Wishing we could stay like that forever and ever, till the end of the time.

 

 

 


	14. Someone from the past.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. It has been forever. I know. I am so so so sorry.  
> I just have been very busy with school lately.  
> But here I am.
> 
> Please enjoy and don't hesitate to tell what you think.Your thoughts worth A LOT.  
> And as always, enjoy !!

I was reading my book with my earphones on sitting on the bench we used as a meeting point with Amy as I felt a pair of tiny hands covering my eyes from behind.I removed one eyephone so that I could listen to her.

" Guess who? " I heard a sweet girly voice warble cheerfully.  
"Uhm..I am not sure." I said with a parodied excitement as I reached out to touch her hands covering my eyes " Oh, wait! I'd know those hands and voice anywhere, you must be Johnny Depp! "  
"Close enough. " Amy said and sat next to me before taking the free earphone just so we could share. " But I've always thought I'd be more like a Leonardo DiCaprio kind of guy."

"Your music taste sucks by the way. " she continued as she forcefully took my phone and started scrolling through my Spotify list.  
" Oh, I am so sorry for not listening to Ariana Grande all day long. " I said giggling as I tried to get my phone back.  
" Jesus, It was just one song! plus, I know you liked it too. I caught you mumbling ' into you ' last week. " she said smiling widely as she held my phone up to keep it out of my reach.  
"Oh my god, this list is full of Depeche Mode. " Amy mumbled under her breath.  
"Excuse me. " I said as the song ended. " You can judge my music taste but you cannot judge Depeche Mode, young lady. "  
"Who doesn't like 'enjoy the silence' anyway" I added as I leaned into the bench a little bit more. Feeling the sunshine on my face.

"The non-goth people, duh. " she said as she leaned into the bench too.  
" I am so not going to discuss this with you right now. " I said as I closed my eyes, smiling calmly.  
"You better not, because I finally found a song we can both agree on. " Amy said as ' Modjo- Lady, hear me tonight' started to fill in my ear.  
I rolled my eyes before speaking.  
" You know what, I am not even going to pretend.Because 00's pop songs are my guilty pleasure. " I said giggling.

****

" Oh..my..god! " I heard Amy call out right next to my ear, almost giving me a temporary hearing loss.  
" What is it? " I asked her huffing and puffing annoyedly as I removed the earphone.  
" Look at the 3 o'clock direction right now. " Amy whispered excitedly but just as I was about to turn my head to the right, she stopped me.  
" No ! look at me first, how does my hair look? " she asked trying to fix her loose wavy hair with her hands.  
"You look fine! who is behind me anyway, Henry the 8th? " I asked sarcastically.  
" More like the 8th wonder of the world." she said staring somewhere behind me " I don't know how can it be possible but he looks like a much better version of Chace fucking Crawford! He must be that new American student everybody has been talking about because damn. "

"Chace who? " I asked woozily.  
Amy looked at me like she saw some kind of alien for a moment.  
"You..never... seen... Gossip Girl? " Amy asked piece by piece as if she wanted to process what she was saying.  
"Well, I don't really watch TV so.. " I started but Amy interrupted me.  
" You've never seen Gossip freaking Girl? oh my god, Anne, what else were you doing when you were 13? "  
"Uhm. " I started but was again interrupted by Amy.

" Oh my god he is coming here, what am I going to do? " Amy said freaking out.  
"Calm down. I am sure he is going somewhere else. "  
" No, he is coming here because I've been staring at him like a freak! "  
" Anne? " I heard a deep voice say behind me and turned my head to look. There, I saw a tall boy standing right in front of me. His shiny light brown hair brushing his forehead.

He looked familiar, in a strange way.

" Oh my god, It is really you ! " he said smiling widely, drawing my attention to his canine teeth which were slightly sharper and longer than usual, causing him to look even more adorable.  
"I am sorry, do I know you? " I asked, trying so hard to not sound rude, meanwhile people around us were watching us with curious eyes.  
" I am Harry, the guy whose marriage proposal you turned down on his birthday. Or the child, maybe ? " he said smiling shyly.

"Oh my god, Harry, hi. " I said awkwardly standing up from the bench " I am sorry I couldn't recognize you before, you look very different. " I said observing his large shoulders and biceps for a second.  
Harry pulled me into a tight hug before speaking again.  
"You are just like how I remembered you, still the cutest girl I've ever seen. "  
"T-Thank you, I guess. " I mumbled awkwardly before turning to Amy for help, who was still standing there with a wide open mouth, staring at Harry.  
"Uhm, Harry, this is Amy and Amy, this is Harry. " I said but she was not moving a muscle.  
"Amy. " I called out to her as I poked her with my shoulder.

" Nice to meet you, Amy. " Harry said keeping his wide smile as he offered her a handshake.  
"You, birthday, propose, m-marriage? " Amy mumbled as she accepted his hand clumsily.  
"Oh, that was hilarious. " he said as he a bit forcefully took his hand back from her grasp " You see, I knew Anne for a long time. We used to be neighbors back then, and I was head over heels in love with her. "  
"It was my 5th birthday, I recall.After the dance, which by the way she also turned down, I decided to offer her my heart and propose to her with my ring pop candies."

I gulped uncomfortably, trying to find a way to prevent him from telling the full story.  
But he continued.  
" But then when I saw her wearing the ring pop candy I brought her, she said she couldn't marry me because she was already married with her da.. "  
" OH MY GOD THAT STORY IS HILARIOUS !" I yelled laughing hysterically to make him stop speaking, earning myself a " the fuck ? " look from both Amy and Harry.  
And the people who were listening to us curiously.

Great. That was just great.

" How about you tell the story some other time? " I told Harry before turning back to Amy " Because we have a lunch plan today, right, Amy? "  
"What Lunch plan ? " Amy asked confusedly before I pinched off her upper thigh to warn her. "Auch! " Amy mumbled under her breath before saying " Ah! I remembered now. "that" lunch plan."  
"You should come too! " Amy told Harry, as I pinched her for the second time, this time much harder, as I thought of various ways to murder her.  
Harry looked at me with those innocent puppy eyes of his, as if he was waiting for an approval.  
I gulped before faking a smile.  
"Oh, sure, you should totally come. "  
"I'd love that ! " he said and smiled even wider if possible.  
"Cool! " Amy said smiling as she flirtatiously touched Harry's arm " I'd love to hear the whole story of why you guys marriage failed. "

..


	15. A dream from hell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " Don't you ever forget, my love.If I can't have you, then no one else can. "
> 
> Hey there lovelies, again, so sorry for the delay. But I wrote a rather long chapter this time soo.. I hope I could make it up to you.  
> So anyway please go ahead and read and please don't forget to let me know your opinions.  
> Enjoy :)

I am standing on a wide terrace, made of the universe's finest marble, as white as a pearl, matching my creamy white skin yet creating a  contrast with the starlit night sky and my long, silky black nightgown wrapping my breasts and waist tightly but exposing my one leg and delicate shoulders to the warm breeze. I am staring at the most beautiful view of aurora lights lying before me, a perfect mixture of mint green and electric blue, with a hint of purple.

I smile a bit sleepily yet peacefully as I feel a pair of cold hands grabbing my waist from behind, pulling me close.

At that moment, I didn't need to look behind me to see who it was.

I, in return, lean onto him firmly, pushing my bum to his cloth covered groin playfully, feeling the pleasant coolness radiating from his naked solid chest, refreshing my warm body.

" The bed is getting cold.." I hear a deep voice whisper seductively, his breath tingling my ear.

"It is never warm with you in it, my lord. " I say kittenishly, knowing very well what me calling him ' my lord ' was doing to him.

"Why don't you come back inside and let me prove you wrong? " he murmurs panting as he kisses his way down to my neck, sliding his one hand upper and upper gently, till he first contacts with my silk covered breast.

My breathing quickens as I feel his hand slightly pulling down my nightgown, to expose my breast.

" Loki.." I half whisper half breathe as he grabs my bare breast, keeping the other hand on my stomach, as I feel my nipples start to harden because of the coldness of his skin.

"Mmm? " Loki murmurs but doesn't say anything else as he continues his caresses.

" Would you die for me? " I ask him with my gentlest voice, as I move my neck to him ever so slightly, enough to give him a better access.

He chuckles lightly before letting go of my neck and stepping a couple steps further, pushing me to the cold marble handrails of the terrace a little bit harshly.

I hold onto his hand on my stomach to keep my balance, as the coldness of the marble and his hands start to get barely unpleasant, yet I force myself to stay calm.

" I would not. " Loki answers shortly, but before I can say anything, he continues.

"But I would die with you." he whispers spookily.

His answer gives me goosebumps as I get a strange feeling in my stomach, not in a pleasant way.

I try to swallow the lump in my throat before saying anything, feeling a sweat drop sliding down my spine.

" I thought love was all about sacrificing for the one you love. " I try to say half-jokingly, but It doesn't come out that way.

As soon as I finish my sentence, he swiftly turns me around, pulls me up and sets me on the handrails, steadying me with one hand on the small of my back.I try to hold onto something, anything panicking, reaching my arms to hold onto his shoulders but he forcefully grabs my wrists and ties them behind my back with his free hand as I try to scream but my voice just doesn't come out.

" Now listen. " he says fuming as he brings his face closer to mine, anger radiating from his emerald green eyes.

" I am not the type of lover who puts your happiness over anything. " he says as he tightens his grip on my wrists. " If you are going to be happy, you are going to be happy with me. If you are mine, you are mine, forever. Whether you like it or not. "

 I  could feel my jaw trembling as I couldn't be sure whether it was from fear or the freezing coldness of his grip, It no longer felt pleasant.

"B-but, Loki... " I say hesitantly, " People can change, feelings can change."

" Nothing lasts forever."

He, in return, lets go of my back, causing me to get closer to the endless hollow behind me and as I feel warm tears rolling down on my cheeks, he grips my throat tightly.

As I struggle for air, he continues.

"If one day you decide that you love someone else, I will kill him, kill everybody, destroy everything, burn everything to the ground." he snarls behind his clenched teeth "... Till you have no one else but me. "

He forcefully brings my face closer to his, till our foreheads touch.

" Don't you ever forget, my love.If I can't have you, then no one else can. "

Then suddenly, the scene changes.

 I find myself standing where Loki stood, and before me, the person who was sitting on the edge was no one but my father.

"Dad! " I exclaim as I try to hold his arm to save him.

" Let me go.. " he says calmly, as he tries to get away from my grip.

" No! " I cry loudly, as I try to pull him inside with all my strength " I can't let you go, I love you!"

"You can not.." he says as a tear slides down his cheek, " let me go, darling, I beg you. "

" You have to let me go, Mary. "  he says and breaks free from my grip, disappearing into the darkness.

*******

When I opened my eyes, I could feel my heartbeat in my ear.

As I forced myself to sit up straight on my bed, feeling dizzy from the dream I saw, I realized my pillowcase was drenched with sweat.

I reached out my nightstand drawer and took out my notebook and a pencil and I tried to write down the things I remembered about the dream, with my shaky hands.

 

 _Part_ 1, _Loki and I_

_"feelings can change."_

_" Nothing lasts forever."_

_" Would you die for me? "_

I closed my eyes, as I remembered Loki's vaporous voice.

_"I would die with you."_

_"If I can't have you, then no one else can."_

 

_Part 2, Father and I_

  _" I love you."_

_" You can not."_

_"You have to let me go, Mary."_

 

 Just as I was finished, I heard a knock on my door.

" Oh, shit." I mumbled under my breath as I tried to tuck the notebook under my pillow.

" Come in! " I called out as I tried to fix my messy hair.

" Good morning, love. " I heard my father say gleefully, as he walked his way towards to my bed holding a tray, and sat on the edge of the bed carefully before handing me the tray.

I observed the two tea cups and the mini pancakes with raspberry jam over them before me as I smiled deeply.

" You brought breakfast to bed? " I asked playfully as I plunged my fork into a pancake and guided into my mouth.

"Well.." he said as he reached to take a tea cup " Since you didn't come down for breakfast, I thought I would bring it to you. "

" Plus, I thought that we could have a small talk meanwhile."

" Small talk ? about what? " I asked curiously as I stuffed my mouth with a second pancake and started chewing on it.

"I don't know, you tell me. " he said before taking a sip from his cup."  By the way, darling, take it slow. You look like a chipmunk. "  he said gesturing my pancake-stuffed cheeks.

" I know but they are just sooooooo delicious. " I said and just as I swallowed all the food inside my mouth, I started speaking again. " Dad, clearly there is something you want to say, spit it out already. " I said before reaching for a third pancake.

He sighed before speaking.

"Oh, fine, It is just, um. "  he started but couldn't continue.

"Wait a minute. " I said putting an end to his struggle as I put the tray aside and scooched over towards him "  Could it be you saw me getting out of Harry's car yesterday? "

"Mary." he said as he put his tea cup aside as well, and turned to face me " You don't have to explain anything to me, love. And I know that if you decided to have him in your lif.."

" Wow, dad, wait." I said smiling widely " He is not my boyfriend. "

"In fact, you wouldn't believe who he is. "

My father had the most adorable confused face as he tried to understand what I was talking about.

I couldn't help but to laugh loudly before speaking again.

"Oh my god, dad, It's Harry! "

"Harry who? "

"The one we destroyed his birthday party with our marriage ceremony! we legit talked about him like 3 weeks ago!"

" Oh my god, Harry Stafford?" he asked also smiling widely.

"Wow, such memory but yes! " I said as I reached for my tea cup "  Apparently, His family has decided to move back to London because of a business arrangement or something like that I am not sure exactly. I ran into him at school yesterday and Amy wanted to involve him in our lunch plan too and that's pretty much it. "

"I remember him, he was such a nice boy." he said before checking  his watch and standing up " Oh no, I am late. You should invite him for dinner someday, It was very kind of him to get you home safely." 

Yeah, that is never going to happen, I thought to myself before saying " Sure, I'll ask him on Monday."

"Very well then darling." he said before bending down a little bit to kiss the top of my head "I have a costume rehearsal today, I might be late. "

"Okay, good luck dad! " I said as I stood up from the bed, hugging him tightly. 

Just as he was about to leave the room, I stopped him. 

"Dad, don't forget to send me some photos. I want to see how Sir Thomas Sharpe looks." I said smiling. 

" Not a problem, love. " he said smiling back and just as he was about to leave again, I stopped him for the second time. 

"Dad... " I said before I could stop myself, " Would you die for me? " 

My father looked puzzled for a moment before smiling again, " where did that come from all of a sudden? " 

"I don't know.. " I said sincerely as I shrugged, " I just wanted to know, I guess."

"Of course I would darling. " he said and turned to leave but was stopped for the third time, this time not by me.

" Would you ? " he asked back, turning to face me.

"I wouldn't." I said decisively, as looked him right in the eye " But I would die with you. "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Cleaning out the closet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you going to be okay? "  
> " I don't know, love."  
> " Are you? "  
> "I don't know either. "  
> " What I know is, even if we'll not be okay, we'll not be okay together."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been forever.I know. I am so sorry. I couldn't find the time because of a project ( which I had to do on my own) and my exams.But I can assure you that I'll never leave writing this story without informing you guys. You can have my word on that.  
> So.  
> I hope you enjoy and please don't forget to tell me your overall thoughts. So that I can improve the story.  
> :)

" I am so sorry parents, I am late." I said guiltily as I opened the door with my keys.NormalIy I was supposed to be at home at 7 pm at the latest but today I had to stay up late at school to work on a group project that no one else but me in the group cared about.As I made my way through inside, I found my father and mother, sitting face to face by the counter in the open kitchen.Both of them were silently looking at the tea cups in front of them, sadness radiating from their faces.

"Hey.." I half whispered as I came closer, causing them to turn their heads towards me.  
"Hey love.." my father said, struggling to put a fake smile on, although not really succeeding.  
Then, without saying anything, I pulled up a chair and sat by the head of the counter to be equispaced to both of them.

I sighed and cleared my throat nervously before speaking again.

"It is not about me being late is it? " I murmured as I tried to fake a smile as well, but I just couldn't.  
"No, honey, we need to talk about something else." my mother said, avoiding an eye contact with me, but she stayed silent after that.It was the first time I saw her totally lost I thought, as if she didn't know what to do, what to say.

I gulped illy trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I saw two suitcases by the staircase.So it was finally happening, but why? since when? but most importantly, why was I not delighted like I imagined I would be.

I could feel my eyes tearing as I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, feeling sick in the stomach.I bit my bottom lip harshly to prevent myself from crying but then I felt a rebellious teardrop sliding down on my cheek.

GOD DAMN WHY ON EARTH WAS I CRYING?

" Honey.." both my father and mother purred softly as my mother stood up and pulled me into a tight hug, caressing my hair as I started to cry hysterically.  
" N-no, really, I-I didn't mean to cry.." I tried to say between my sobs "Like god damn why am I even crying? It doesn't make any sense, what am I a 7 year old?"  
" Can I get a napkin, please?" I asked before blowing my nose rather loudly on the napkin my father handed me.  
" I feel much better now." I said sniffing as I faked a smile " What is it that you wanted to talk about?"  
"Tom, can you please give us a minute? " my mother said softly turning to my father, who quickly wiped his eyes before standing up.  
" Of course. " he said with a forced smile as he tried to hide his teary blue eyes " I'll be upstairs, then. " he said uneasily before he left.

My mother, then pulled her chair so that we could sit face to face.  
After staying silent for a while she finally started speaking.

" I still remember the day you were born." she said as she tucked her dark brown hair behind her ear like she always did when she was nervous."I was amazed by your beauty.Big round light brown eyes, cute little freckles, an earnest and staid expression on your little face. " she said as she parodied my expression, making me chuckle.

" Dad says that too, gosh was I really that serious as a kid? what a boring child to have." I said as I smiled deeply.  
"No, honey, you were the most amazing child a mother can ever imagine, you still are. " she said as she smiled bittersweetly and reached out to hold my hand. " Too bad I was too dumb and self-absorbed to see that. "  
" No, mom, don't say that. " I protested as I held her hand tighter " You were an amazing mother,too.. you still are. "  
" No, honey, I know that isn't true. " she said as a teardrop rolled down her cheek " When I had you, I was still practically a child myself.I was just 19 and I had a whole life ahead of me. I was going to get into Harvard and start a new life in a new country and become a famous journalist. But when you came, I felt like everything was stolen from me. My career, my chance for a new life, maybe a chance for a new lover.It sounds so cruel but deep down, I always blamed you and Tom for this. "

" And I know, It was so selfish of me to feel this way but It is just.. I've known your father since I was 6 years old.I remember seeing him on the first day of school. Even when everybody was crying hysterically for their mothers, he just sat there silently, waiting for the teacher, wearing a cute little bow tie and a white shirt like the gentleman he is. " she said wiping her tears with the back of her hand as she smiled widely.

" No way, was he wearing a bow tie? " I asked as I chuckled loudly " Well I guess somethings never change. "  
"He was! that's why when I first saw him, I imagined us getting married under a wide plane three, he wearing his bow tie and me wearing cinderella's ball dress.Well, in the end, we did get married but I couldn't wear cinderella's ball dress.. like Jesus we didn't even have a wedding, just signing some papers in the town hall and that's that."

"Because of me, isn't it." I said guiltily, hanging my head in shame.

" Of course not, sweetheart, It was never your fault." she said as she laid her hand on the side of my face " It was because I didn't want anyone to know that I was pregnant and getting married so early because of that. I even refused to wear my wedding ring until I graduated from the University."

" What about my father? was he ready to be a father at such a young age? "  
"You should have seen his face when I first told him I was pregnant." she answered smiling bittersweetly, " Even though he was still a child himself, he was born ready to be a father.That night, both me and him were crying, me out of anxiety and him well, out of joy."

"But he also had a career to fulfill ahead of him." I said as I tucked my hair behind my ear as well " Didn't he see me as an obstacle to achieve his dreams too? I don't think Hollywood would greet a 19-year-old-dad with open arms. It must have been hard for him."

" No, darling, he never thought you as an obstacle.In contrary, he would never leave the house without kissing you before leaving for auditions, he believed that you were his little good luck charm."

" It is cute because he still thinks that way. " I smiled widely as I felt a teardrop sliding down on my cheek.

" He has been the most amazing father while I was complaining about everything, working non-stop day-and-night to prove that I was just as good as like everybody else around me.I missed everything about you. Your first words, your first steps even your first day at school. " she said between her sobs, now openly crying, holding my hand even stronger.  
"I don't know if you can ever forgive me for that. Oh god, what a terrible mother I am! "

"No, don't say that, mom. " I said as I stood up and pulled her into a tight hug.Maybe for the first time in my life, I was hugging her so sincerely, as if to make up for the lost times.  
"I should have been there for you, Anne. I should have been a mother first."  
"Shh..mom, It's fine.Please stop crying." I purred softly, caressing her chin-length hair to calm her down.  
"I made you cry today, too."  
"No, you didn't." I said as I put a little distance between us to look into her eyes " Mom, I am not a kid anymore. I know how marriages work, or in that case, don't work.And I want you to know that whatever the reason is, I'll support you and be with you.Because you are my mother and he is my father.Nothing can change that."

After that, she stood up and hugged me again.  
" Here is my daughter." she said as she pulled away from the hug and smiled widely " How come can you be more mature than me even when you are 20 years younger than me?"  
"That is not true. " I said sincerely " You are like the most powerful woman I've ever seen. "  
"And that makes you the most powerful daughter. " she said poking my nose tip lightly. I giggled as I held my nose tip.For the first time, my heart filled with motherly love and at the same time, I felt my regret and disgust for myself getting even stronger.

For all this time, It was easy to see her as the villain, It was easy for me to blame her for being a bad mother, It was easy for me to just hate her.  
But It wasn't true.  
The truth was, I loved her.  
I loved her so much that every time she cried and begged for forgiveness, my heart stopped.  
Because I was the one who should've asked for forgiveness for being such a terrible daughter.

"Mom.." I said a little bit hesitantly before I could stop myself "Can you forgive me? "  
" For what, honey? " she asked smiling warmly.  
"Don't ask me for what, I can't tell..at least right now. Just please tell me that you forgive me."  
"Of course I forgive you, for whatever it is, darling." she said caressing my hair softly.  
"And promise that you will never stop loving me, for whatever reason."  
"Uhm, Anne, at this point should I start to worry or what ?" she said jokingly.  
" Mom, I am serious. Please, I need to hear it from you. "  
"Okay, I'll promise If you will."  
"I promise," I said as I hugged her tightly again.  
" I promise." she said as well, as she hugged me back tightly.

At that moment, I saw my dad coming downstairs.  
" Oh, I am so sorry. I thought that you would be finished by now." he said and just as he was about to leave again, I stopped him.  
"It is okay, dad, you can come. " I said as we broke apart.  
That was then, we heard a horn sound coming from outside.  
"So the cab is here.. " my mother said tenuously as she took the suitcases and put on her coat before turning to me.  
" Your father has my new address, Anne. I want you to know that you can come to me anytime you want and you can stay for as long as you want, okay sweetheart?"  
"Of course, mom. " I said as we hugged for one last time.

Then she turned to my father, who was trying his best to hide his sadness.  
"Take care, Tom. " she said briefly, with a bittersweet smile.  
"You too, Victoria." he said vaguely " Are you sure you are going to be okay with the cab? I could've taken you as well. "  
"No need for that thank you. " my mother said as they hugged awkwardly for a split second.

After my mother left, my father and I stood by the window, watching the cab slowly moving away.  
"So." I said as I turned to my father and hugged him tightly. "Are you going to be okay? " I asked almost whispering.  
" I don't know, love." he said absentmindedly as he pulled me closer. " Are you? " he asked back.  
"I don't know either. " I said as I pulled back a little. " What I know is, even if we'll not be okay, we'll not be okay together."  
.....


	17. A skeleton arm, a day at the mall and rose petals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know.It has been forever.(literally) but I was having some medical issues and I have been in the hospital for last 3 months.I feel better now so here I am.  
> I am so sorry for keeping you waiting that long.  
> I hope this chapter will make it up to you.  
> As always, please let me know your thoughts.
> 
> this is the dress Anne is wearing:http://i01.i.aliimg.com/wsphoto/v0/2028154811_1/wholesale-2014-New-Fashion-Women-Green-Vintage-V-Neck-High-Waist-Tight-Career-Formal-Cute-Dress.jpg
> 
> and this is the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGvMjgLXBi0
> 
> enjoyyy :))

 

*****a week later*****

" Brother! " I hear my father call out with a deeper and stronger voice than ever.

" You can't stand between me and her, Loki! " I hear another deep voice say, which reminds me of Mr. Brooke.

Wait.. What was going on?

I immediately turn my back and there, I see my father dressed as Loki and Mr.Brooke dressed as Thor. They actually look like they were about to start a duel.

" Are we in a costume party or something? " I ask clearly amused by the ambiance around me while examining my long, white Hellenistic dress.

" Darling, stay out of this. " my father snarls. " It is between me and your uncle. " he continues, not looking at me.

" Oh, yes! " Mr. Brooke says with a smug smile on his handsome face, " But let me remind you, little brother, since you are adopted she is not my blood-related niece. "

He then turns his face to me, breaking the eye contact between them. " You can't keep me from marrying her, it is all confirmed now. Very soon, she is to be my wife. " he continues.

Marrying? Confirmed? Niece? the fuck?

" Mr. Brooke, what on earth are you talking about? " I ask puzzled, " Of course I am not marrying you! Dad, do something ! " I say running to my father, holding onto his leather covered strong upper arm.

DAMN! I forgot to appreciate how wonderful he looked dressed as Loki, I thought to myself.

" Excuse me, Mi'lady, but you have to marry Prince Thor, the gossip of you and the Prince having a sexual affair has spread all over the Asgard, All-father said that it was the only way to repair the situation and protect his son's dignity. " I hear a sweet girly voice say behind me.

Wait.. was it Amy?

I quickly turn to the source of the voice and there, I see Amy dressed like an old maid lady from the 18th century.

" Amy, are you here too? " I ask her in a total shock, everything was just getting weirder and weirder every second." What gossip are you talking about? how could such a thing be possible?"

"I don't know Mi'lady.." Amy says bashfully " They also say that why else would he offer a place in the playwriting contest team to a talentless loser like yourself, Mi'lady."

" I will NEVER  let you marry  Hela, never ! " my father yells for the second time, pulling me to his firm body.

I smile widely as I accept his hug, I feel warm and safe and...

Wait.

Did he just say " Hela? "

" Father, I think you are a little bit too much hooked on your role. " I say smiling, " I am Mary, not Hela. " After my statement, the room fills with an awkward silence as all three of them stare at me with puzzled expressions on their faces.

" What? " I ask, looking at each of them with questioning eyes.

At that moment, the reflection of mine in the mirror catches my attention. There, I am standing in the most beautiful dress, my long wavy hair pouring down my skeleton shoulder to my skeleton arm.

The dress is beautiful indeed but..

WHAT ?! MY SKELETON ARM ?!

******************

When I woke up, all screaming and panting, the first thing I did was to check my arms, thank gods they were normal.

Why did all my dreams have to be such weird?

I huffed and threw myself back on my bed while yawning sleepily, I reached under my pillow to check my phone and there, I saw that I actually had one missed call, from Amy. Of course, It was not like I had any other friends.

I yawned sleepily while calling her back.

" Hey, sleepyhead. " Amy answered my call with her usual chirping voice.

" Hey yourself, early bird. " I said with my still sleepy voice. " Why did you call me so early, missing me already? " I asked playfully.

" Duuuuh! that's why I called, to ask you if you would like to come to the Mall with me today. " she said cheerfully.

" Like a date? " I asked smiling, as I kicked my blanket to get off the bed.

" It is definitely a date! but don't tell my anyone. shhh. " she said giggling.

" You are so silly, did you know that? " I said while opening my closet, gosh I had absolutely nothing to wear!

" I knooow, but admit it, that's why you love me! anyway, I gotta go now, I'll text you where and when we'll meet ' see ya ! " she said before hanging up.

I smiled sincerely as I locked my phone. I was actually full of excitement. For the very first time in my life, I was going to meet a friend outside of school, just like a normal 17-year-old girl!

While I was putting on my tight black pants, I caught myself humming the final countdown's intro.

Strangely, I felt happy.

******************

When I came down our ladder, I saw my father standing by the counter, with one hand holding a teacup, the other hand holding his British Times, with a focused expression on his elegantly sculptured face. Oh how so British, I thought to myself as I walked towards him.Things were starting to come back to normal since my mother left the house, yet still, I could tell my father was very upset about it.

" Good morning father." I said smiling shyly.

" Good morning love. " he said still reading his newspaper, then he lifted his head to look at me " Are you going somewhere ? " he asked smiling back.

" Oh, yes, I'm meeting Amy, actually. " I answered proudly.

Before saying anything,  he looked thoughtful for a brief moment, then he forced himself to smile again.

What was on his mind?

" Now that's great news, sweetheart, so you will not be home for a while. " he said and turned around to pour me a cup of tea.

" No, I won't. " I said suspiciously " Why, are you up to something? " I asked folding my arms, lifting my one eyebrow up.

" N-no, I was just curious, that's all dear. " he said looking slightly alarmed, ever so slightly that If I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't be able to notice.

After a moment of awkward silence, he cleared his throat before saying " I was actually on my way to the second costume rehearsal, I can take you to where you 'll meet your friend, If you'd like ."

" Yes, I'd like that." I said shortly, still eyeing him suspiciously.

"Oh, and one more thing.." my father said as he was putting on his coat " You should not tell Amy or anyone about me and you-"

"About you and mother, dad, of course I know." I said assuringly as I came closer to him to fix the collar of his coat " I am very much aware of the fact that my parents are famous people and your lives attract attention."

"For a moment, I forgot what a professional celebrity child you are." he said teasingly as he smiled down on me.

"Yes, I have been in this business for nearly 10 years, thank you very much." I answered jokingly as I stood on my tiptoes to give him a good luck kiss.

******************

" Are you sure?I think it looks a little bit too much. " I said as I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I was wearing a dark green knee height dress which was wrapping my body tightly, the dress had two thick straps, covering my both shoulders completely and it was a low cut one.Not too much but enough to show my breast curves.

" Are you kidding me? you look absolutely stunning! " Amy said while turning me around, she was wearing a cute yellow summer dress herself, which made her look even more adorable.

" Why can't I get a cute summer dress like you? this dress feels.. different. " I said, failing to express how I feel about the dress.

" Because being cute is my thing, not yours ! " she said folding her arms, " You look totally captivating in this dress, you sexy beast! If I had your curves, I would never hide them behind all those jeans and baggy shirts of yours. "

I huffed and turned my attention back to the mirror, Could she be right?

Amy rolled her eyes at my uneasiness.

"Are you sure? " I asked for the 10th time, earning myself a "bruh." look from Amy.

"Gods be good, Anne, you look absolutely gorgeous." she said as I sensed a slight sadness in her voice."I am sure Harry would have a heart attack if he had seen you in this dress."

"Harry? " I asked confusedly " Why would you say that? "

"Oh come on now." she said forcing herself to sound cheerful " I know there is something going on between you two."

"What? no, Amy, he is just a friend, nothing more."

"But he said he had a crush on you earlier."

"We were children, Amy! plus, it was like 12 years ago." 

"So..you are not attracted to him?" Amy asked with her voice full of excitement.

"No, not at all."

"Like, truly?"

"Truly."

"Like..a hundred percent?"

"Oh my god.Amy.YES." I said impatiently as I tried to fix my dress to cover my chest area a little bit more." He is like a brother to me."

I tried not to think about how inconveniencing that last sentence would sound if she knew about my lack of morals when it came to family relations.

Amy smiled widely as she forced me into a tight hug.

"Then I am free to date him, aren't I ? " she asked me cheerfully as she let go of me.

"Of course you are." I said but as soon as I finished my sentence I realized something." Wait..no you are not! you already have a boyfriend for god's sake!"

Amy looked guilty for a second before she shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah, um, lately we have been having some problems, uuuum, kind of."

I folded my arms in front of me as I eyed her suspiciously.

"Amy."  I warned her, to tell her I was not buying it.

"Okay okay fine." she said as she put both her hands in the air before continuing."I am just not into him anymore, there I said it."

I slowly unfolded my arms as I didn't want to look judgemental.No matter what, she was my best friend(and kind of my only friend) and I had to be more understanding towards her.

"It is because of Harry, isn't it?"

" Yes and no. Yes because who wouldn't jump that sex god you call Harry's bones and no because we have been together for so long and I just don't feel the excitement anymore."

"Amy, you and Dave have been together for like 6 months."

"What can I say? I have commitment issues." 

"Amy.You know what to do right? "

"Okay, okay, Jesus!" Amy said as she finally gave in. " I am going to break up with him.Satisfied dear relationship police?"

"Much better, thank you." I said smiling slightly.

" Now come ooooon!, Let's get us some sexy ass high heels !" she said as she started dragging me to the shoe section." 

This girl is killing me, I thought to myself as I let her guide me.

*****************

When I opened our front door with my keys, trying so hard to be quiet as much as possible not to wake anybody up, I saw rose petals and candles all over the floor, leading me inside.

What was going on?

When the rose petals ended, I saw my father half sitting half lying on the couch, with an empty wine bottle in his hand , his eyes tight shut.

" Father... " I said vaguely, nothing else coming out of my mouth.

I didn't need to ask anything.

At that moment, I exactly knew what happened.

" She didn't show up. "  he said almost whispering, not opening his eyes. " I wanted to give us a chance, one last chance but... " he then opened his eyes, but not turning his head to me, he continued " But now I see there's nothing left of our marriage to rescue. "

"Oh, I- I am sorry...  I said whispering and It was true, I was completely ruined because of his sadness.

I had to make him smile again.

I had to make him forget about this awful night.

Suddenly, I remembered the dress I was wearing, thanking gods and Amy, I knew exactly what to do.

This night was going to be our very first date night with my father.

****************

" ** _Girl, you'll be a woman... soon. "_**

As Neil Diamond's deep voice started filling the room, my father finally decided to lift his head to meet my eyes, but instead, I noticed his sapphire-like eyes were lingering on my dress, all the while I was walking to him oh so slowly , my hips' movements matching with the rhythm of the song.

**_I love you so much, can't count all the ways_ **

**_I've died for you girl and all they can say is_ **

**_"He's not your kind"_ **

I stopped right in front of him, looking deeply into his eyes, I reached my hand to him.

" Come on,  " I said seductively  " Dance with me... " 

**_They never get tired of putting me down_ **

**_And I'll never know when I come around_ **

**_What I'm gonna find_ **

**_Don't let them make up your mind._ **

**_Don't you know..._ **

For a slight moment, I saw confusion in his eyes, but then suddenly , It was gone. That confusion was replaced with sadness again.

" Mary, I know you are trying to cheer me up but.. " he said looking away from me, I felt like he was intentionally avoiding an eye contact with me.  " But I don't want to grind you down, too, love. "

_**Girl, you'll be a woman soon,** _

_**Please, come take my hand** _

_**Girl, you'll be a woman soon,** _

_**Soon, you'll need a man** _

" You can't grind me down even if you want to .. " I said smiling understandingly, while pulling him to me, forcing him to stand up.

" Just one dance, please .. " I said huskily as I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close, so close that I could feel the wine in his breath.

**_I've been misunderstood for all of my life_ **

**_But what they're saying girl it cuts like a knife_ **

**_"The boy's no good"_ **

**_Well I've finally found what I'm a looking for_ **

**_But if they get their chance they'll end it for sure_ **

**_Surely would_ **

**_Baby I've done all I could_ **

**_Now it's up to you..._ **

He, in return, ever so slightly and hesitantly, put his hands on the small of my back.

" The world is a musical play and us, you and I are the main dancers..." I said almost whispering, letting him guide my steps, with one hand, holding his hand and the other hand resting on his shoulder.

" All those other people around  us, they are just figurants, the show is better with them for sure but still..." I said taking a step back. " It will be us who draw all the applause in the end, with or without them. "

_**Girl, you'll be a woman soon,** _

_**Please, come take my hand** _

_**Girl, you'll be a woman soon,** _

_**Soon, you'll need a man** _

_" No matter what, father, I will always be with you, I will always stand by you. " I said cupping his cheeks with my both hands._

_" We will stay together, never apart_.* _"_ I whispered, in the never apart part father joined me, too.

Just like Thomas and Lucille did.

At that moment, again, I've completely lost it and,

Well,

I kissed him.

This time not on the cheek.


End file.
